"Would you like one...?"
Thankfully I've grown out of this, almost. It used to annoy my mates/girlfriends to a violent degree but had me helpless with laughter.

When outdoors and someone offers you something like a biscuit, piece of confectionary, half a sandwhich, mini pork pie (etc. etc.), accept it, even if you don't want/like whatever it is.

You then have several options, my faves being:

1) drop-kick the item as far as you can
2) put it in your mouth (if appropriate) and then see how far you can spit it

This will make your generous pal/gf indignant at best, violent at worst. You can then complain about conditions being attached to this generous gift ("so I have to eat it? You didn't say").

This is much better if there's a bunch of you: everyone except the giver should be highly amused. Also, try the 'do you love me enough to give me your last Rolo (or pork pie or whatever)?' ploy and if this works, proceed as described above.

Utterly hilarious. It's only cost me a tooth and a couple of relationships.
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Mon 17 Mar 2008, 14:07, 2 replies)

me too
When I quit smoking my oh-so-hilarious friends kept offering me cigarettes, trying to make me snap.
In the end I used to take the cigarette, giving the friend a look of triumphant glee. I would then snap the cigarette in half in front of them and throw it away. They went mental every time!
(FerretTrout be illin', Mon 17 Mar 2008, 14:24, closed)

Awesome
Awesome... i cant wait for those, summer/spring time picnics in the park!
(burkymurk likes to jerk, Mon 17 Mar 2008, 14:38, closed)