A few years ago
I had the misfortune of being involved on the periphery of a traffic accident. An artwork removals van had run into the back of a police car which had been shunted into a small hatchback which in turn had been pushed into a road bridge.

This series of shunts had caused a flat bed pickup coming the other way to spin, dumping its load of waste oil all over the road and starting an engine fire.

Now, engine fire plus waste oil on road equals high potential for very nasty blaze. The police from the car quickly moved everyone from the vehicles involved away from the scene with the exception of the driver of the hatchback who was trapped as the shunt had buckled the door frames, preventing him from getting out.

Things were looking very very bad indeed but the policeman closest to the car acted quick as a flash. He ran to the removal van and hauled open the back. He pulled out a painting ensconced within a sparkling golden frame.

Running over to the stricken hatchback he started to run the edge of the frame rapidly over the roof supports. Seeing what the first officer was doing the second member of the constabulary ran over to the van and grabbed a second portrait, "No!" shouted the first policeman "get one with the gold leaf on the frame!" So the second officer promptly dropped the portrait he was carrying and took a second and began to run the edge over the roof supports on the other side of the hatchback.

And then, while we stood and watched, what seemed like a miracle occured. The two policemen threw down their paintings and heaved at the roof of the hatchback. With a crack of glass, the roof came away from the body of the car.

The policemen heaved the stricken driver from his seat and dragged him clear, just seconds before the fumes from the oil ignited.

The now considerable crowd ran over to the policemen to offer what assistance we could, I took off my coat and used it to support the drivers head as he lay on the floor. In the distance we could hear the approaching sirens of the emergency services. A women standing near me was standing open mouthed in astonishment. "But, but, officer, how did you cut through the roof of the car using only the edge of a gold framed portrait?"

The policeman turned and shrugged, "It was nothing really" he said, as his gaze swept over the now blazing vehicles "We just used Gilt-y Police Saws."
(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Mar 2008, 21:33, 2 replies)

*spangs heavily*

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Mon 17 Mar 2008, 22:51, closed)

I just
smacked myself in the forehead after reading this.
( Ultimate Cakes & Sweets Why,what are you planning to do - photosynthesize?, Mon 17 Mar 2008, 23:49, closed)