Blergh
I don’t really go to the gym any more due to my hectic family life (this is such a lie, I could have easily gone the other day but instead spent a good few hours making a model of the aliens from last weeks Torchwood using a semi melted Lego man, two half eaten chicken legs and a packet of Marlborough).

Anywhoo one incident that I thought is worth a mention is from the time in my life I actually did go to the gym quite regularly. I’m not a regular gymgoer I would just use the squash courts with a number of equally minded mates.

We would often turn up earlier than booked, hoping that the court itself had not been booked before so we had a chance to spend more time on the court. One time we turned up and were not as lucky. The court was being used by a husband and wife who looked a tad mismatched. He was quite well built and sweating profusely while she was heavily made up and looked like she hadn’t really done anything to exert herself.

Spotting us through the glass partition the bloke nodded to us to signal that he had seen us and mentioned that they would finish the game. The game was pretty one sided and before long the bloke had won and he made his way to the front wall to collect the bags he had taken on to court with him. During his walk to the bags mr sweaty removed his sweat sodden shirt and wiped his face down with it. Removing his shirt revealed that his back was covered in spots of all shapes an sizes (It was impossible to ignore we were waiting to go on court and were watching for them to leave for gods sake). What I didn’t know was that it was about to get worse.

His other half wandered over and shrieked (believe me it was a shriek) “Ooh Andy you’ve got some good ones today” and started to squeeze the heads off the back of his spots in the middle of the court.

Andy didn’t sound like this was anything out of the ordinary and sat there while his lovely lady proceeded to describe each one as she popped it (This one looks like its going to go all over the place- bloody hell its spat out some orange too). It was like watching a car crash, we could not avert our eyes as we were frozen to the spot totally bewildered at the situation.

After a few more attempts (Including a yellow head that partly hit her in the eye) the young couple made their way off court. As mrs spot-squeezer made her way through the door she left us one parting gift by wiping what residue she had from her husbands bacne onto the glass door frame.

That was the straw that broke the camels back. I started retching from the puss rainbow in front of me while my mate went to the reception area to get someone to clean it up.

We stopped using the centre shortly after.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:15, 5 replies)

Ewwwww!
Ewwww!Ewwww!Ewwww!Ewwww!

*does not like*
:(
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:18, closed)

Ewwwww!
Torchwood?!
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:25, closed)

Huh?

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:40, closed)

Nice opening paragraph.

( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:36, closed)

Ta
I wasn't retching when I wrote that part.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:54, closed)