Crumpets
I hate to see an uneven number of crumpets in our bread bin, so I always eat two crumpets at a time.

My wife regularly eats ONE CRUMPET.

This is most annoying if there are only two crumpets left and she eats the penultimate one.

Why would you do this?

I would rather look in the bread bin and find no crumpets than one.

Should I only have half a cup of tea with it?

How much energy is being wasted by the unutilised half of the toaster that could be creating a warm crispy bed for melted butter and sticky honey?

WHY WOULD YOU DO IT?
(yokelrobin THE NERD WHOSE HAIR DEFIES GRAVITY/FASHION, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 11:15, 9 replies)

Have a crumpet and a slice of toast.

(sabre-tooth monkey, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 11:17, closed)

Argh
Never!
(yokelrobin THE NERD WHOSE HAIR DEFIES GRAVITY/FASHION, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 11:37, closed)

Get smaller crumpets
One will not be enough for her.

Or Maybe staple the normal crumpets together in pairs?
( Not Pineapple anymore, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 11:48, closed)

But then two will not be enough for me!
I was thinking about making crumpets (which I intend to do anyway), but making them extra large so I would be happy with just one.

Or would I...?
(yokelrobin THE NERD WHOSE HAIR DEFIES GRAVITY/FASHION, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 11:52, closed)

It's a risk.
I'm starting to lean towards his and hers breadbins.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 11:54, closed)

Labelled
"Baguettes" and "Baps"?
(yokelrobin THE NERD WHOSE HAIR DEFIES GRAVITY/FASHION, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 11:59, closed)

Simple solution:
:Purchase Crumpets
:Hide Crumpets
:Deny all knowledge of buying Crumpets
:Eat Crumpets in dead of night in pairs while she is asleep.
( The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:06, closed)

Cut it in half

(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 9:52, closed)

excellent use
of the word "penultimate".
Have a crumpet.
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:09, closed)