Chavs
You all know the kind. The tracksuit wearing, face plastered with shite, too fat and waaaaaaaaaaaay too pregnant for anyones liking, dole scum sucking freaks.

In my old job, I worked in a bar. Some ditzy blonde bimbo, round as anything, sent her 12 year old boy up to the bar to ask for a pint.

Boy: "Pint please."
Me: "I can't serve you I'm afraid, you're too young."
Chav: (shouts over)"What the f*cking hold up?!"

She wanders over to the bar to see me refusing to serve this child.

Chav: "Problem?"
Me: "Yes actually. He's too young to be served any alcoholic beverage. If you want a drink you'll have to show me some ID."
Chav: "Its not for me though. It's for him."
Me: "Excuse me?" *quietly chuckling to myself, thinking "you cant be serious?"*
Chav: "You heard. He drinks at home and he wants to drink here, so give him the f*cking drink or I'll smash you teeth in!"
Me: "Look if you don't have ID I can't give you the drink." *not that I would anyway, being a chav and all*
*passing ID* Chav: "THERE! FOR F*CK SAKE! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET A DRINK?" She yelled out to the whole bar.

I surveyed the ID, before announcing:
"Excuse me, I still can't serve you."

"Why the f*ck not? You wanted ID so pour the damn drink!"

"The ID says you're 17."

"Shit, I grabbed the wrong fake ID again..."



She then left, taking her 4 kids with her.






I laughed. And had a cookie.

EDIT: No word of a lie.

Also, first post ever. Yay.

EDIT EDIT (or number 2, whichever): I am aware a 17 yr old chav with a 12 year old son might sound far fetched, but he might've been her brother. not a clue. or instead the parents of the other childrens? nevermind. chavs are stupid.
( Kyazrael Juan, two, three, floor?, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 20:29, 13 replies)

A seventeen year old with a twelve year old son?
Yeah, good luck with that.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 15 Sep 2009, 21:29, closed)

is it possible
that they could be brother and sister?
(manwiddicombe is thinking of something witty to add here, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 21:41, closed)

Perhaps
All chavs are scum to me though, so be they brother and sister, parents to the other children, or him in fact being her son is beyond me.

Wouldnt be surpised if it any of the above though.

The fact she said "wrong fake ID" and looked about 40 is something else though.
( Kyazrael Juan, two, three, floor?, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 21:50, closed)

So now she's a forty year old with a twelve year old brother?
Christ.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 15 Sep 2009, 23:08, closed)

didnt say is...
I said looked, but I can understand your disbelief.
( Kyazrael Juan, two, three, floor?, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 11:32, closed)

er....
youngest official mother is in fact 5 years 7 months and 21 days old from somewhere in peru or something in 1939

google it!

so, tragically it is infact possible.
(mynameisnotdeacon, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 16:13, closed)

Even if she was 17 with a 12 year old child
Im pretty sure social services would have taken him and ran. So I doubt they would be in the pub together at the very least
(i should have joined myspace, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 19:09, closed)

Best Troll Ever

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 21:33, closed)

you would know

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 21:51, closed)

Oh snap lol.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 15 Sep 2009, 23:09, closed)

LOL

(TheColonel, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 10:16, closed)

yep sounds familiar
Before I left the wilds of Herefordshire for the metropolis of Derby....I worked as bar manager in a nice pub on the Bromyard Downs...and always remember the nasty spade faced spiky wife of a local brewer who tazzed up most afternoons after school finished with her two limp lettuced, tongue entwizzled kiddies, normally petrol cap missing from the 4x4, gallons gushing out onto the gravel...and sending said kiddies in for bacardi breezers...vodka and tonics etc...I mean...7 year old kids demanding I serve them because "Mummy thent uth!!...GAH you beastwy PEASANT!!"...and then the sthi faced old soak stumbling in swearing at me....ohh happy days...I miss being a serf....
( curvylittlegoth heard the voices in your head on, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 0:38, closed)

well
I wouldn't put it past them, to be honest.
(tb2571989 dies at precisely, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 10:26, closed)