TV Hell
My sister phoned me, drunkenly, on Saturday evening.

"SISTER!!!" she roared down the phone. "YOU HAVE TO DO ME A VERY IMPORTANT FAVOUR!!!!"

I braced myself for her request. Lend her money? Donate my eggs? Act as a surrogate for her unborn baby? What could be so vital to her happiness?

"YOU HAVE TO VOTE FOR EOGHAN - MY MOBILE PHONE NETWORK WON'T LET ME!!!!"

I wish I could pretend to have never heard of X-Factor, but I have, so I muttered "X-Factor? Not a chance. Not even for family."

Still she begged. I heard a long, rambling, drunken tirade about how Eoghan was the Great White Norn Iron hope, uniting our previously war-torn country with the joyful and triumphant gift of song. His winning the X-Factor would heal the wounds of The Troubles in a way Bono could only ever dream of, and doves would soar in the sky through rainbows into the dawn of a brighter tomorrow.

"Okay," I said. "Give me the number." And then I pretended to write it down, even going as far as to pretend to scribble with my finger, even though she was on the phone and couldn't see me, even going "uhuh, uhuh" and repeating numbers back to her. Then I said "right, okay, I'll vote now". Then I hung up, made a cup of tea, and went back to listening to Radio 4.

I'm not sure if it is worse to betray the trust of one's sibling or to cast a vote on a phone-in for a skincrawlingly awful TV show. I like to think I chose the lesser of two evils.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 11:26, 10 replies)

*clicks*
*applauds*

CHCB I salute you.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 11:28, closed)

Well done you!
I thought he was a lesbian with Downs Syndrome until I read the paper...
(rampants, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 11:30, closed)

You made the right choice
Radio 4 is the one thing that can keep this world from becoming Hell on Earth*.

It may already be too late for your sister. Take this click and guard your FM receiving device with your life. I salute your decision.

*_{Despite demonic corruptions from Thought for the Day}
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 11:31, closed)

And now they've fucking ruined my enjoyment of that Leonard Coen song.
.
( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 11:31, closed)

For once
a mobile phone network is fighting for good.

If only the rest of them would prevent such calls being made, we may one day rid ourselves of this evil.
( Moey, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 11:36, closed)

You know who is going to hell?
Whoever thought it was a good idea to let those talentless imbeciles trample all over 'Hallelujah'.

FFS.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 11:38, closed)

*click*
For saving your sister from hell. Now all you have to do is save her from the next bit of crap TV...

She must have a good mobile network though...I want that one.
( snee held his breath since, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 11:39, closed)

If you had voted.......
.....he might have won and the uniting of the previously war-torn country might have occured! I hope you feel really bad........
(Pork2311, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 12:35, closed)

Purgatory only.
Now if you'd charged her for making the call anyway.........
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 13:34, closed)

^^
Got to be done...
( snee held his breath since, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 13:52, closed)