eeeeksellent...
I work in IT in a school. It's my last day tomorrow. I/we have a few gems.

One is a french teacher with a incredible lack of skill when it comes to computers. The time when she complained her projector isn't working, the other technician went over, looked at the remote, looked at the projector, looked back at the remote and asker her why the hell she was using a HP remote with an EPSON projector. Her reply? "I brought it with me from my room, cause all projectors are the same". Well, news to me.

Also, before the summer holiday, we replaced her computer with a snazzy all-in-one thing where the screen is connected to the base unit. It's called and RM One, if you know what they are. The keyboard, mice, network cables and screen cables are CLAMPED DOWN and screwed into the back (this is relevant, bear with me) so it's pretty difficult for them to come out. We were called across because, over the summer, someone had "stolen her keyboard". Now, as mentioned above, it's pretty difficult to take this thing apart to get the keyboard out, so we knew somthing was going on. Went across to the room, looked at the computer desk and PULLED THE SHELF OUT with the keyboard on.

others have included
"Screen's not working" - Switch it on
"projector isn't working" - ditto
"sound isn't working" - unmute it, maybe?

finally, "can you fix the internet?" this was by a student. We immediately thought the internet had gone down. But, no, this was her home internet, in a house 10 miles away. Not knowing what OS she had, what her ISP was, even if she was on broadband or dial-up, we couldn't really do much.

length? One year apprenticeship.

EDIT: and please please please no recyled joke from a QOTW in 2004 or the ones that have been on chain mail that we've all read. Ta.
(tb2571989 dies at precisely, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 13:22, 5 replies)

"a snazzy all-in-one thing where the screen is connected to the base unit. It's called and RM One,"
think iMac improves on this

PC=Plastic Crap

*disgusts*
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 13:55, closed)

yup
the only thing it's good for is impressing the parents on open evening. dual core 2.0, 1gb ram, 80gb HD. £600.
(tb2571989 dies at precisely, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 13:58, closed)

imacs are for faggots
but the RM one is a masterpiece in the art of shite design, they get so damn hot with the mobo on the back of the lcd panel and the ram right net to the cpu that the constant heating and cooling lifts the ram out of its slot daily... and dont get me started on stripping them down and replacing parts.

they had these at a school where i worked, i spent six months building replacements using old P4 machines and threw the ones into a heap in a leaky shed where they belonged
(Lovefist233 Bothering Sheep since..., Fri 25 Sep 2009, 0:13, closed)

I would like the RM One more
if it wasn't built with shoddy parts and sold at twice the price.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Fri 25 Sep 2009, 0:42, closed)

Maybe she meant for you to fix the whole internet.

(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Sun 27 Sep 2009, 20:14, closed)