Sticky Keys
Being a long-serving button monkey, I've got loads of stories of idiot users but I'm going to tell you about one of my boo-boos...

I got a call from someone who had spilled coffee on their computer keyboard and was now getting beeps every time that they pressed a key.
I said that they could let it dry & it might be OK... unless they had sugar in their coffee.
Of course, they did.
"Oh dear" says I "It's game over for that keyboard".
"Is there nothing I can do" they ask.
"Well..." I said "Whilst it's still wet, you could try running it under the tap to flush the coffee out and leave it somewhere warm to dry overnight".
Happy with that, they hung up & I think no more of it.

I get a phone call the following day from the same person, now saying that their computer wouldn't even boot up now.
Half-way through booking a replacement keyboard, I get the question "Should I have taken the battery out before running it under the tap?"
Yep... I had instructed a user to soak their laptop.

Needless to say, I handled the laptop replacement personally.
In the call log, I put that there had been a roof leak and that was what had caused the water damage.

Lesson learned: Get ALL the facts before recommending a course of action!
( BubaMan 3 conspiracy nuts walk into a bar... Coincidence?, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 21:07, 3 replies)

No!!!
How about a lady that spills a pint of "Diet Coke and Red Wine" (is this really a drink?) over their husbands shiny 17" laptop, on a Saturday night, then closes the lid and goes to bed.

I get the call on the Monday...

Also:

I used to have a trick where you would use the Co2 fire extingusher to blow the dust out of a PC.

Not recommended for use over the phone when the user can't see what's inside the computer.

Or tell the difference between Co2 and WATER!

Oh dear.
(HamptonSmall ...smoking my pipe since, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 8:46, closed)

I can't tell the difference between CO2 and water.
Once upon a time, water fire extinguishers used to be red, and CO2 extinguishers used to be black. Foam was beige, powder was blue (I think), and there was a green one too, as I recall.

Pretty easy to work with. Something electrical's gone up in flames? Grab the black cylinder. Some paper's burning? Grab the red one.

These days, all fire extinguishers are red, thanks to those useless fucking cunts in Brussels (and thanks to the spineless cunts in Westminster not standing up to the cunts in Brussels) making decisions about things which should be left well alone.

How the fuck am I supposed to tell which red fire extinguisher contains water, which contains CO2, which contains foam, etc.? They're all fucking red.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 0:58, closed)

*click*
hehe
( shitkicker, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 14:10, closed)