IT sails
When I was in Sydney 12 years ago on a working holiday visa, the temp agency managed to get me a pretty cushy position for five weeks working in the IT dungeon in a bank headquarters in North Sydney. It wasn't quite The IT Crowd, but similarly laid-back - half a dozen not-quite-mainstream twentysomethings with questionable social skills but irrepressible good humour, and a pretty cool boss (male though, and nothing like whatsherface with the red hair). As best as I can remember we didn't have a Moss (either that or it was me!), but the Roy of the group was probably a guy called Tomislav ("T" to us, as he hated "Tommo" or "Tommy"), who despite the name was the most ocker of the lot, and would revel in being as rude as he could without actually calling the people he had to help a fucking maroon.

Team-building was usually ensured by spending all our dollars at The Pub on a Friday, or random weekdays, or long lunches but the highlight was when the boss managed to swing us an evening's cruise round Port Jackson on a yacht belonging to some bloke he knew (for very small values of "cruise" and "yacht"). The skipper looked like a shrunken version of Captain Birdseye, with a thick Scottish accent to boot, and his safety brief basically consisted of telling us not to get pished and fall in.

Of course, being computer geeks to a man, we all interpreted that as a pure AND statement, and immediately set about attacking the contents of our eskies. As we sailed south back to the berth, with our backs to the boat and the setting sun on our faces, we contemplated the universe and other important philosophical subjects, such as which girls in the office we would or wouldn't "root". Although that particular debate didn't seem to be as filthy as it would have been back in the office.

"Fuck!" shouted one of the guys, "where's T? Stupid cunt can't even swim!" Shocked out of our mellow state, the rest of the team sat up and started looking around like spaced-out meerkats. "Is he on the other side?" Wes (the boss) called up to Captain Birdseye. The weathered old mariner just rolled his eyes and answered "Aye, T's a' port".
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 28 Sep 2009, 15:43, 3 replies)

*launches intercontinental ballistic spanging warhead*
'nuff said.
( ejlflop errrrrgs. Regularly., Mon 28 Sep 2009, 16:39, closed)

HA
HA



HA



!!!!1!!!eleventy



I did not see that coming.
(Ed Quarters has moved house!, Mon 28 Sep 2009, 19:17, closed)

*SPANGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!*

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Mon 28 Sep 2009, 23:37, closed)