IT SupportOur IT support guy has been in the job since 1979, and never misses an opportunity to pick up a mouse and say "Hello computer" into it, Star Trek-style. Tell us your tales from the IT support cupboard, either from within or without.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 12:45)
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The IT TigerWas two pints into a drinking sesh with some of my workmates. The IT fella, Dave, sidles up to me and asks me for some advice. Strange, it was usually the other way round after I’d spent several frustrating minutes mashing my paws on a keyboard trying desperately to get something to work through the awsome power of brute force and rapidfire swearing.
But Dave was asking for advice on something he really knew fuck all about. He told me his little scheme. I blinked, digested the info, nodded and said: “That’s a sure-fire, solid-gold, cast iron cert to work, Dave.”
Pleased, Dave goes ambling off. He looked quite pleased with himself. He approached the two Leeds girls he’d had his eye on – either of them would do, I imagine; in hindsight I imagine Dave thought his amazing scheme would land him a kinky threesome with these two porky slappers.
Anyway, Dave approaches the girls like a stealthy, slinky, rather too gangly and awkward panther, then he bellows: “RRRRRRRRRR-OOOOOOOO-AAAAAAAAA-RRRRRRRRRRRRR !!!” The entire pub fell silent, even the volume on the piped Peter Andre craptacular tape seemed to be lowered. Dave then said: “I’m a tiger... errr... you know... ... ... ... ... in... ... um... ... errr... ... ... ... the sack...”
The taller, fatter, sweatier of these two Yorkshire beachball impersonators regarded Dave for a moment, squeezing out spilled pernod and black from her sleeve, then she replied: “Fuck off you ginger twat.”
Dave came back to our table, sat down, and sulked for an entire round, muttering how about how much of a bastard I was under his breath. Ahhh, Dave – whizkid with the computers, complete fucking loser with the ladies.
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SpankyHanky, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:23,
3 replies)
that is quite easilythe funniest thing I have read all day.
May jsut have ruined my new laptop with coke-snot all over the place you bastard.
Oh yeah, *click*
(, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 16:15, closed)
OhYou said coke-snot.
/wipes imaginary glasses.
(, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 16:20, closed)
It's the little details,like "the Peter Andre craptacular" that make this so enjoyable to read.
That, and the image of some gangly ginger bloke bellowing "ROOOOAAARRRR!" in the middle of a pub...
(, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 16:21, closed)
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