Always check the voltage
Especially when working with equipment that is used onboard cruise ships. Rudimentary mathematics concludes that 240v into 110v doesn't go, well it kind of does but only 0.458 of it, which coincedentally is how long the printer i was testing lasted in seconds when i switched the unit on, red face was fully on show once the smoke had cleared.

As soon as i started this job it was clear that there was a distinct dislike for one member of the engineering department, he thought he could deal with anything his machine could come up with, he could deal with 80,000hp+ engines after all they were computer controlled, so a 1000mhz machine would be a piece of cake, and so begins the playing with registry keys and enevitable blue screen adventures, on a bi-monthly basis.

And finally... probably the best one

UK Corp. MD: Good morning, my pc is asking for a new password.
Net Admin: OK, i can change it for you if you like, what do you want?
UKCMD: I want my old one
NA: I'm sorry but you can't have the same password in any 18 month period
UKCMD: WHY NOT! I WANT TO KEEP MY PASSWORD! (imagine toys exiting executive pram)
NA: I'm sorry but it's a security risk, and the IT rules and policies in place explicitly forbid this
UKCMD: WHAT POLICY?
NA: The one you signed.
UKCMD: WELL IF I CAN'T HAVE MY OLD PASSWORD THEN I WON'T HAVE ONE AT ALL!
NA:I'm sorry i can't do that either
UKCMD:I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!
As is the situation in so many cases the manager gets spoken to and the spineless fecker caves, suspending the policy, resetting the password, non-expiration and re-activating said policy.

Is it wrong to have the IT Crowd pixel art characters as wallpaper, on your 3 screened desktop machine, laptop and mobile phone, and the theme as a ringtone?
( Radebe, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 16:27, 15 replies)

yes it is wrong
as is using the word "cue" in a qotw story. you have done it 3 times. a hitman will be visiting you shortly.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 16:32, closed)

OooooooOOOooooooOOOOoooooooHHHHhhhhhHHHHHH
Get her.

You'll be wanting a nice handbag to go with that attitude of yours.
(Roosta, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 16:33, closed)

you have a lot to learn about b3ta my friend

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 16:46, closed)

I apologise
you obviously own the internet and are master of the fucking universe too. So, sorry.
(Roosta, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 16:50, closed)

if you are going to be that touchy you may as well call it quits now
just trying to give you a heads up that there are a lot of people who would address the same thing in a far less polite way than I did and you come out with something like that...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 16:54, closed)

only joshing
this place needs more love
(Roosta, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 16:55, closed)

pfft
love is all we need
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 16:56, closed)

By the way
I think we've made a connection. A little mood music, candles, nice food and I'll do anything you want. Yes, I really think I love you. Infact I'm certain. I love you! I love you with all my heart and every last inch of my throbbing cock!
(Roosta, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 16:59, closed)

Now I get the feeling I should start calling you Bert

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 17:11, closed)

When your time
is split between corporation tax, year end accounts, annual return emigration documents and a machine that-just-wont-fecking-install-xp the vocabulary might suffer a touch.

But just to hopefully rescind the execution order i have edited to include no c words.

cue using Word to look up rescind.
( Radebe, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 16:58, closed)

I think you mean queue.

(TheColonel, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 9:40, closed)

"240v into 110v doesn't go"
Which is why normal voltage is 230v and 115v.

(I qualified as an electrician last year).
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 17:20, closed)

fair enough
but in general most mains voltages aren't those figures either (have seen incoming lines as low as 190), I can't remember what the RMS value is though, was a long time ago in a-level physics
( Radebe, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 17:27, closed)

National grid is supposed to be within +/- 10% for 90% of the time
I think. It could be 5%. Either way, it's a pretty sizeable voltage change!
(stimpy, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 18:52, closed)

True, and
It doesn't half play havoc with ADSL, had to UPS top up the incoming power
( Radebe, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 21:57, closed)