when we were about 14, my friend smithy got on the wrong train in manchester and found himself steaming off to london
the conductor said there was nothing they could do, and he would have to pay the full fare for a return. when he emptied his pockets and clearly had nothing other than his young person's railcard, they made the train do an unscheduled stop to boot him off it. it sounds uncaring, but probably better than taking him all the way to london.

when we were about 17, he tried to get to london without a ticket. seeing the conductor coming towards him, he casually headed for the toilet, and spent the rest of the journey hiding in there. needless to say, they were waiting for him when the door opened, and there wasn't even a whiff of vomit to support his "travel sickness" claim.

and a few months after that, we'd all been out in town, and were sharing taxis home. smithy refused on the basis that it was too expensive, and toddled off to get the nightbus by himself. he woke up a bit later, fast asleep on the floor at the back of the top deck of the 192, which had just gone back to the depot for the night. yep, he'd been all the way home, past it, to the end of the line, and all the way back. he had to bang on the bus door to be let out.

and then had to pay for a taxi all by himself.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 10:04, 18 replies)

he sounds like a tool

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 11:21, closed)

he was one of those guys that you have no idea why you're friends with at the time, or afterwards
some of my other friends must have liked him
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 11:31, closed)

Sometimes you need a friend like that
If only so you don't feel you have to address your own inadequacies.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:07, closed)

this may well be it
one of my friends always invites him to meet-ups "because he's our friend" - and then makes sure she is down the other end of the table...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:22, closed)

it's very thoughtful for her to provide an idiot to make you feel better

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:36, closed)

this is lame even by your standards
a proper friday afternoon job
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:57, closed)

true though
she knows you're incredibly insecure and wants to make you feel better
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:35, closed)

anyone who doesn't have some insecurities is an insufferable -
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:52, closed)

everybody called smithy is as thick as fuck

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 11:22, closed)

he now works for the office of national statistics...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 11:31, closed)

I rest my case.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 11:57, closed)

quite

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 12:01, closed)

My mate smithy isn't.
He's a loan shark.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 22 Aug 2014, 16:51, closed)

They won't stop a train because somebody doesn't have a ticket.
And I really doubt a bus driver wouldn't have a look in the mirrors before locking up. I think your 'friend' has been exaggerating somewhat.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 13:43, closed)

This.
Also, the chances of him going to sleep on the 192 and not having his shoes, his wallet, and possibly a kidney stolen are pretty minimal.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:15, closed)

i got the 192 loads of times as a student and it was always fine
there was a weird mental bloke who played a plastic flute for money up and down the route sometimes. you'd see him in stockport town centre as well.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:21, closed)

i wasn't there, but i do believe him
first it'd be a pretty unimpressive thing to lie about, and secondly, if you met the guy, he just doesn't have the imagination to make anything up. and he was on the floor under the seats. i think you may be overestimating how much of a fuck bus drivers give about stupid people that may have ended up there.

anyway, who cares? it's a pointless anecdote, not a booker prize winner.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Aug 2014, 14:20, closed)

they don't any more, they certainly used to
...it was pretty routine in Central Trains days to lob Peterborough fare-dodgers off at Manea.
(Guy Debord cette mauvaise réputation..., Fri 22 Aug 2014, 15:47, closed)