Social Services
As most young siblings are, me and my little sister weren't exactly the best of friends. I think it took until we were in our very late teens to even hug eachother by choice. Up until that point we fought like cat and dog. Here's a brief overview of the cruel things I've done to her:

We had a octagon shaped hardwood coffee table in the centre of the living room. On opposite sides there was the sofa and an armchair. I told her she could easily jump and fly over the table. CRACK. No. A&E and head glued back together. I did that one several times.

Instead of a plastic bath duck we had a plastic green turtle. One day I decided to tell her she could fly (again, or possibly before the table incidents) and lobbed it down the stairs. She jumped after it. Back to A&E.

'Hide the Smarties.' No, not some filthy game. We had a mini box of Smarties and decided to do an Easter egg hunt game. We had just had a new patio laid, and I decided to hide them down behind the recently removed paving slabs - leaning against the side of the house in pairs/trios. Even at my current size of 158cm and 7 stone, 23 years old, I don't think I could lift those slabs. We were around 8 and 10. We both attempted to lift the first slab and get to the Smarties. I realised that they were now within reach, and let go of the slab, right on to her foot. A&E. I got to eat the Smarties in the car, cause she was crying too hard to eat them.

Golf club. My dad is an avid golfer. One day we decided to play with his clubs in the garden. She threw a golfball at my head. So I smacked her in the forehead with a club, full force. A&E again.

She has quite literally cracked her head open SEVEN times. Plus several other A&E visits. Within the first few visits my parents were no longer allowed to accompany her past reception as they thought she was being abused by them. She was always taken away on her own, screaming, and questioned seperately as to what happened. Completely innocent, just kids beating the crap out of eachother, but my poor parents were accused of abusing us over it. Not sure who get's the short straw on that one - my sister for the cracked skull (probably explains why I've got the smarts and she hasn't) or my parents for the allegations.

The whole irony is that now, despite her being the younger and much more naive sister, she's the one who looks after me through my illness and such. Sometimes it now feels like she's the big sister, and I am eternally in debt for breaking so many of her bones.
( Bathory, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:18, 2 replies)

hehehe
not condoning the abuse of course, but you get a big click for the hilarious mental image of you in the back of the car cheerily munching on the smarties.
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:23, closed)

This reads like a pitch for Bottom Babies.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:04, closed)