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This is a question Housemates

Catch21 says "I go out of my way to make life hell for my shitty middle-class housemates who go running to the landlord every time I break wind". Weird housemates are the gift that keep on giving - tell us about yours.

(, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 13:28)
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Dances with mice
Pill Popper's post:


sparked lively discussion about the fluffy little housemates that seem so unusually prevalent in Edinburgh. Which reminded me...

My mate Pippa and I had a flat in central Edinburgh during the festival in 2005. We were 21, carefree, and easy on the eye. We got drunk and made new friends quite easily.

We knew we had a lodger in the cupboard under the sink, but we despaired of catching the bugger.

One morning we stumbled home with a young architect we met at an all night party. (Was that you?) We drank whiskey with him between 5 and 8 am, then he went off to work.*

Went to toast some bagels before turning in for the day; noticed the pathetic scritching noise coming from the toaster.


Out of the flat into the street with a magazine held over the toaster. We tipped him into the gutter and watched him scurry off. Glowing with booze and a sense of karmic oneness with our animal brothers, we attempted to return to the flat.

Hadn't put the latch on, hadn't brought the keys.

We were both wearing little pajama shorts and vests, barefoot. No phone, no money. And it was morning rush-hour.

Being festival time, we took this in our stride. We had a toaster and a copy of Marie Clare. No worries.

We crafted hats and tu-tus from torn magazine pages and improvised little dances and sketches involving the toaster until we sobered up.

By which time we had been given most of the money to pay for a lock-smith by impressed passers by.

Complete result.

*we were not *total* sluts.
(, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 20:01, 8 replies)
What a fantastic story!
(pics or it never happened?)
(, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 20:40, closed)
Nice try but
no keys
no clothes
no money


And google images searches for 'Edinburgh' 'knickers' 'toaster' 'lunatics' drew a blank.

Thank Dog.
(, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 23:32, closed)
Clickety Click
I'm not going to look at a copy of Marie Clare in the same way again. You have painted a wondeful picture in my mind.
(, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 21:04, closed)
was probably better than 90% of the shit that makes up the festival.
(, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 21:44, closed)
That's a damn good story..
..never been to Edinburgh but captures the spirit of the festival for me.
(, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 22:52, closed)
This is brilliant...!

*clicks like a frenzy*

Now, I understand the reason why you cannot provide photographic evidence to the original incident...but could you by any chance see your way clear to a small re-enactment?

And this time with cameras present?

and would slow motion video be too much to ask?......thought so.
(, Tue 3 Mar 2009, 11:42, closed)
slow motion pillow fight in small pyjama shorts and vest tops you say!
(, Tue 3 Mar 2009, 13:57, closed)
re-enactment firmly vetoed by Mr Snakes. But if you notice a post from anyone complaining about a missing toaster and a lot of disturbing rustling noises coming from upstairs, this may indicate that my housemates are closet B3tards.
(, Tue 3 Mar 2009, 16:43, closed)

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