Women, or more specifically my wife, driving
Whenever I'm driving the car and the family are with me the missus has to sit in the back of the car like Miss Daisy...not for the luxury but out of fear of my "bad" driving. A few years ago I was driving down a road away from my nephew's birthday party (5th or 6th) and was cut up by a Volvo which decided to slam on in front of me after setting off a speed camera. Ever since that accident the strife has been terrified of me driving (even though I've never come close to any accident on the road since). If I glance too long into a mirror I'm met with "WATCHTHEROADFUCKJECCY!!!YOUREABADDRIVER!", if I don't indicate early she'll lean over and flick the indicator on, seriously, she's a fucking nightmare.

So more often or not, as I drive the car most days to work, she will drive about instead of me. I'll sit quietly in the car, or keeping me 23 month old daughter amused in the back (in a non-arrestable way) and the missus will be driving at 25 mph, totally aware of anyone who drives past on a mobile, or eating, or just generally being there on the road driving as normal. If anyone does something odd on the road she will just stop the car. This could be soneone doing 31 mph behind her and driving a bit close, someone parking near her, someone speeding on the other side of the road etc etc. Anything slightly complex is greeted with the "Just to be safe, I'll park up". If the road has multiple lanes and another car is in the lane near us, she'll either hop lanes to get either away from or behind the other vehicle, even if this means we're now driving in completely the wrong direction. If we had GPRS it would need to have a swear filter installed just to stop it swearing at her sense of "safety over direction". And as for safety is concerned, she will do all of the above while constantly adjusting all the air conditioning every 2 minutes or fucking about with the radio.

It's a wonder we make it anywhere, let alone survinging the ordeal. I'm tempted to do a "Misery" on her with a sledge, just so she can't press the pedals.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 16:49, 4 replies)

That's not just hypocrisy
that's a full blown disorder.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 16:54, closed)

woman!
drive the car!
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 16:54, closed)

close...

( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 16:58, closed)

It may be that she can't help it.
I'm a good driver and my husband is even better (ok, much better). However, I've been hit twice by semis (I think you say semi-articulated lorries). I am now terrified of them and panickly hyperventilate if one gets too close. I act just like your wife and then I lose my mind 'cause I'm so scared.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 9:56, closed)