The ones in stupid hats...
Pope with bullet-proof glass...

Churches with lightning conductors...

Saying "the lord will provide" and handing out collection trays.

Preaching fire and brimstone about the evils of homosexuality, and then forcing the choirboy to lick at his old and deflated cock in the cold vesrty, the smell and smoke of incense causing his agéd twitching member to appear ghostly it tries to harden, the flecks of dried smegma falling out from the end of his distended foreskin as one gnarled, veiny and papery-thing skinned finger pokes roughly at the boy's puckered anus causing the boy to grimace and cry silently as he decides that there truly is no god, a dribble of drool escaping his mouth and landing on his holy vestiments as he leers down at the boy's smooth young back and white parted buttocks...

Oh yes... The lord provides... but it's not the Apple tree that takes away the innocence is it.

Assholes.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Wed 25 Feb 2009, 14:48, 9 replies)

Harsh...
...but fair.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:02, closed)

Sad...
...but true.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:04, closed)

and erotic
in a gay-way
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:35, closed)

Wow
You really captured my childhood experiences there, well done. Incidentally, in my experience the incense was sometimes used as a lube depending upon the priest. Mostly the priests used my blood and tears as a lubricant though. Mostly.

Click!
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:04, closed)

Mine used
Holy Water, mostly.
After the fucker tried to drown me in the Font.
( Cawl, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:06, closed)

mine
used a mars bar.
(imallamallama looking forward to llamageddon on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 22:38, closed)

How do I join the priesthood?

or alternatively, the choir?
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:07, closed)

I was a Catholic altar boy...
...at St Claires in Aylesbury and Father Grace never once troubled my bum.
Fucking weirdo...
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:14, closed)

What's wrong with me, eh?
lol.
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:35, closed)