I have a massive crush...

...on anyone who can put together a witty, entertaining, smartly written story. One that may make me laugh, or think, maybe make me emotional. Something out of the ordinary, that stands out from the crowd. If it has that intangiable 'something' that makes it sparkle then I will fall deeply for the author. My word crushes are intense, beautiful and deep, albeit transient and fleeting. Any one of you, even if I've despised everything you've written previously could become, with the click of a 'post' button, the object of my passion.

I think you're all safe this week.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:35, 9 replies)

I was thinking similar
this week is going to make mix tapes look good
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:37, closed)

It's not a question designed to bring out stories is it?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:38, closed)

I tried
sort of

still Kirsty Allsop eh? she'd have a hairy minge eh?
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:39, closed)

Well, there's not much of a story to be told, is there?
I would like to shag *Name of unconventionally attractive person*.
Q: Why?
A: Umm...because my cock says so.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:40, closed)

Well yes, that's exactly what I said though, isn't it?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:41, closed)

Merely elucidating the point dear boy, merely elucidating the point.
Although you could see a good story coming out of the tortured mental processes that could induce one to be enamored of, say, John Major. The imagined trysts. The long, steamy nights watching the party conference highlights. And by 'good' I mean 'utterly disturbing on every conceivable level'.

*EDIT* Fuck you, rule 34. Fuck you. www.b3ta.com/questions/write.php?parent=1381355
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:46, closed)

yes, maybe just the list of names is better if you put it like that.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:51, closed)

The brevity thus far is almost like scrawling through 'Top Tips'...

(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:38, closed)

To be honest
if you're looking for a story full stop this week you're likely to go away empty-handed. Can we modify the QOTW to include the old exam favourite "Give reasons for your answer"?
( .Yeti., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 19:49, closed)