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This is a question I Hurt My Rude Bits, Again

My commute to work was made excellent the other day when I saw a motorcyclist try to ride on the pavement to avoid a traffic queue, lose control, fall off and land bollock-first on a concrete bollard. He was fine, eventually – but tell us your tales of the old blinding agony to the gentleman's or gentlewoman's area.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 12:50)
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To make up for the fact that we've imposed this QOTW on you like FASCISTS, here's the full story...
The last mile of my commute to work is a dreadful crawl of traffic lights, idiot drivers and the bottleneck of having to cross the Thames. It's tedious, but nothing that killing everybody else won't solve.

One such morning of tedium was made completely EXCELLENT by one motorcyclist's attempts to jump the queue. Finding both lanes of traffic at the usual standstill, he decided to resort to the one clear route to the other side of the river: Nipping in front of everybody else by driving on the pavement, like a LAWBREAKER.

While I don't believe in such things as Instant Karma, I – and others in cars and vans around me – watched with no little joy as he over-revved trying to mount the kerb and his bike slipped out from under his leather-clad arse. One thing led to another as he grappled with the throbbing monster escaping from between his legs, and he was hurled – bollock-first – onto a concrete bollard.

I dare say his helmet visor prevented his plums being bodily ejected through his mouth. Oh, how we laughed.

Full-fat 12-inch remix HERE
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 13:01, 10 replies)
Don't apologise.
This is the best question I've seen in a very long time.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 13:04, closed)
If democracy died with Chavez can we have erotic b3ta fiction next week?

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 13:09, closed)
omg worst qotw ever

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 13:29, closed)
What exactly is a FACIST?

(I helped save b3ta! Locus213 Slightly to the left of Bakunin, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 13:43, closed)
FACK ORF,
YOU FAAHCKIN CAAHNT!
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 13:47, closed)
No, he missed an S and I wanted to take the piss.
So I did / Shall
Cockmuncher
(I helped save b3ta! Locus213 Slightly to the left of Bakunin, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 13:53, closed)
Well, I for one am glad you've taken the time
to explain everything.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 17:11, closed)
It's a FASCIST that doesn't proof-read

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 13:52, closed)
This is more like it.

(I helped save b3ta! Locus213 Slightly to the left of Bakunin, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 13:53, closed)
Just out of curiosity
and I'll immediately acknowledge that riding on the pavement isn't a legitimate way to do it - but why would you have a problem with a motorbike jumping the queue?

It's not as if they actually slow your journey down, they don't actually get in the way.
(username failed moderation, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 14:06, closed)
No problem with that
...it's the going up the the pavement that was naughty
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 14:31, closed)
POIDH

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 16:28, closed)

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