My mother...
...with the bestest possible intentions has gone and bought me a (small) dining room table and chairs because "They were just sooooo cheap." Unfortunately my abode (as much as I love it - and fuck knows I pay enough for it) is, well, tiny.

I've just spent two evenings rearranging my existing furniture (all of which I love in a manly and heterosexual way) and I've come to the conclusion that it just aint going to fit - unless something else gets downsized.

So - do I:

a: Tell Mammy Hat 'thanks but no thanks,' offend her (easily done) and have to put up with the frosty atmosphere that it entails for the next fuck knows how long...

or

b: Downsize one of my sofas to an armchair or maybe get a smaller TV/DVD type unit (neither which I can't really afford.)
Daddy Hat has said he'd help me out if I need to buy anything (to keep the peace), but as he's retired I'm not about to take him up on that.

Any advice gratefully recieved.

Although I'll probably just c: Man The Fuck Up, stop shifting furniture, drink some more beer and carry on watching the boxing.
( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Fri 22 May 2009, 23:05, 8 replies)

You could
Get your old man to tell you when she is coming over, and put it out for her to see and then when she is gone hide it....

Or go with a) and try to explain that there is no room, ask em to hold on for it till you get a new place etc etc.

Now i want curry, damn you!!!

EDIT: The curry is mainly due to misreading carry... so i will retract the damn y ou but i still want curry
(StyX is staring at you, yes YOU!!!, Sat 23 May 2009, 2:04, closed)

Put it on eBay
and tell her you where robbed when she notices it missing and due her good taste and your poor (pathetic even) taste the only thing that got flogged was the dinning table and all of the chairs.

Beer Tokens

+

Happy Mum

____________

Easy Life
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Sat 23 May 2009, 7:56, closed)

Simples.
Invites mumsy,daddy and SO over for a meal. Use all the furniture (and perhaps other borrowed item).

Cook badly. Mumsy will realise that a.) there's no room for all of the existing furniture, and b.) Sit-don meals for more than two aren't your forte. Thn it's easy to explain that the table an chairs aren't necessary.

Bingo
( Tepid_Halibut felt like a cold, empty shell of a human...until, Sat 23 May 2009, 13:37, closed)

easy
chop the table in half and shove up against a wall, ebay a chair or two, spend ebay money on beer to drink whilst burning the unwanted half table.
(danceswithferrets is leaking sanity, Sat 23 May 2009, 15:05, closed)

This
was my suggestion, so I'd like to reinforce it.

You could even use the spare half by extending the legs a bit and making a breakfast bar!
( Rookie You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel, Tue 26 May 2009, 15:01, closed)

If I were you...
...I'd torch the whole fookin' place, claim off the insurance whilst explaining to Muvva with a cracking voice that the worst part was losing the beautiful table anbd chairs she'd bought you....

With a bit of luck she can't afford another.
(Colonel Blink is now officially a pretentious prick, Sat 23 May 2009, 21:11, closed)

Always go for the ego
"Mum, I can't figure out how to fit it in, could you come over and see what you can do?"

---
Or what I'd really do: "Stop buying me things! argh!" and see offending her as a win.
I live on the other side of the world and she still buys me clothes and posts them over. The postage costs more than the clothes and they generally don't fit. She has to learn some time, doesn't she?
(xanthine, Sun 24 May 2009, 5:51, closed)

"Hi Mum
Thanks for the table and chairs. They are absolutely perfect. Fucking love them.

One small problem is they don't quite fit properly - it's my flid-like flat. But I really do love them, and could you keep a hold of them until I get a bigger place? I'll keep a couple of chairs for entertaining.

Thanks again Mum. I love you. In a special way."
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Sun 24 May 2009, 7:34, closed)