Why does phil collins like to wank out of an upstairs window after dinner?
so he can feel it coming in the air tonight
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 28 May 2019, 11:25, Reply)

What is Phil Collins' favourite Chinese branch of a Swedish high-end audio retailer?
Suzhou Sudio.
(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Fri 24 May 2019, 22:58, Reply)

Wh-What's Ph-Ph-Phil C-C-C-C-Collins' fa-fa-favourite pu-pu-pu-puzzle?
Su-su-su-doku.
(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Wed 22 May 2019, 14:38, Reply)

The only joke I've ever actually created:
(Context - when the big art installation of decorated fibreglass cows was going from city to city around Europe, I was playing in a bar in Zurich. Question to the audience in between numbers.)

Ein Kuh mach Muh.
Machen viele Kühe Mühe ?

I guess you had to be there.
( blyerkit e k trilby, Wed 22 May 2019, 12:12, 2 replies, latest was 6 years ago)

I'm not a big fan of levers,
I mean, they have their moments, but people tend to talk them up too much.
(Piddins Drinking Double Dutch since, Sat 18 May 2019, 21:45, Reply)

A woman is having a shower when the doorbell rings.
She gets out to answer the door but realises there is no towel in the bathroom, so she puts on her robe, grabs a clean towel from the airing cupboard and wraps it around her wet hair. She peeks through her broken blinds and sees a man wearing sunglasses and a shirt that reads SMITH'S BLIND REPAIRS. "Well," she thinks, "I know they said they'd be here first thing, but he's a little earlier than I expected. She opens the front door.

The man says: "Good morning, love. I'm here to fix your blinds."
He thinks to himself: "Cracking tits, I wish she'd answered the door naked."
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 May 2019, 13:20, 1 reply, 6 years ago)

How do they put the holes in a colander?





Sieve I care.
(Delay Tactics Intentionally left blank, Wed 15 May 2019, 22:13, Reply)

What do you call a monkey in a bunker?
.
.
.
.
.
A bunkey.
( Brandy_Bumwinkle, Mon 13 May 2019, 20:47, 4 replies, latest was 6 years ago)

What does Phil Collins instruct his lawyers to do when he wants to initiate triple legal action against deceased Rainbow singer Ronnie James?
Sue-sue-sue Dio.
(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Fri 10 May 2019, 22:14, Reply)

How do you know if Phil Collins has got root on your system?
Su-su-sudo.
( rob, Fri 10 May 2019, 19:40, Reply)

Which reggae singer resembles a radiant heating appliance for generating thermal radiation for outdoor use?

Patio Burner!!!
( $$ ✅, Wed 19 Dec 2018, 11:42, Reply)