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This is a question Accidental innuendo

Freddy Woo writes, "A woman I used to work with once walked into a car workshop to get her windscreen replaced, and uttered the immortal line, "Have you seen the size of my crack?"

What innuendos have you accidentally walked into? Are you a 1970s Carry On film character?
Extra points for the inappropriateness of the context

(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 12:05)
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Maternal potty mouth.
My mum once accidentally called my sister a twat. She didn't even realise until we pointed it out to her. I think she was aiming for twit and it came out wrong.

Twas funny though.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:52, 12 replies)
Wahey!
you're back!

How were the 'merkins? Did you get lots of happy squelchy time?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:56, closed)
Yay!
Hi BGB. How was your trip?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:56, closed)
twit
is my least favourite insult. I don't know why, it really bugs me if someone calls me a twi.
(I helped save b3ta! BlueHaze Chutney. All good., Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:11, closed)
Had a lovely time in the land of the merkins.
Far too hot though and I got heat lumps. I got squiffy and squelchy and that's all you need to know.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:14, closed)
Righto Miss.
*taps nose and winks*

I said *winks*
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:16, closed)
Once again
we all know what you really meant Davros.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:22, closed)
Welcome back, BGB!
Glad you had a good time!

*offers battenburg*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:25, closed)
'Ere, al!
you calling me a winker?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:35, closed)
Hiya BGB!
Glad to have you back!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 17:11, closed)
Should have stuck around a few more days.
It's about ten degrees cooler today than yesterday. (That's about five degrees to you metric types.) Tonight I may even break in the new outdoor fire pit...
(I helped save b3ta! The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 18 Jun 2008, 17:18, closed)
Hooray! You're back!
Sounds like you had a smashing time!


My mother uses twat all the time...she seems to think it's just a variation on twit...I have tried to tell her, but sadly she doesn't believe me.
I think I'll get her to say twunt instead.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 17:43, closed)

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