I used to think I was Oscar fucking Wilde.
When I was in my final year of high school, our yearbook committee wanted me to do caricatures and illustrations for the publication. Pretty normal stuff... some teachers, some students, etc... but the high ups in the school staff didn't want me to do anything that might make the school look bad. In other words, nothing satirical or passing negative comment on others.

I wasn't especially pleased by this, since I figured it was my chance to poke fun at all the feckless little bastards and chavy types who bothered and offended the intelligentsia of the school on a daily basis. Charged with righteous indignation and disdain for "the man", I produced a poster in the style of one of those evolution of man diagrams, but in reverse, with the sort of capped moron prominent at my school at the end following the chimpanzee. I then put it in the bottom corridor as a means of protest and social commentary.

In the three hours it took for a member of staff to spot it and take it down (I'm surprised it even took that long) the following conversation took place between periods by those it offended and myself in graffiti-form.


"Your a pure poof. SUCK MA DICK, YAAAAAAS!!!!"


Me: "Does it affirm your masculinity and heterosexuality to ask another man to suck you off? You must be incredibly comfortable in your sexuality"


"WHIT ARE YOU ABOUT? THIS IS PURE GAY"


Me: "Well I'm sure you're the expert on that. What with your trend for asking anonymous men to blow you."


"FUCK YOU!!!!! (crude phallic imagery drawn on the bodies of all my characters)"


Me: "I think we've established that won't ever happen."



I don't know if my new friend wrote anything else, since I never saw the poster again after that. The staff couldn't pin it on me since I hadn't signed it, but my art teacher was a little colder to me after that point, presumably since it had been passed around the staff room in an effort to lay blame as well as (I presume) cartooning not being a legitimate art form in his opinion.



I didn't apologise for length then, so why now?
(the_fracturedpope, Thu 4 Oct 2007, 18:25, Reply)