kids can be so cruel
They say that being at school is the happiest time of your life. Well, was I the lucky one. Not only was I in the same year as expectant robbers, rapists and killers, but they all were all fucking comedians to boot.

So there I was waiting patiently outside the P.E. changing rooms, with about two hundred and fifty other kids in my year. My "friend" comes over and says to me "I tried to phone you last night, but it said you had been disconnected."

"Shit!" thinks I. I then have to explain how my brother has run up a two thousand pound phone bill having spent the past three months up all night fwapping away on premium rate porn chat calls, and hiding subsequent demands from the British Telecom.

"Ha ha!" says my friend. "I know what we should call you." It's no secret, but I could hardly contain myself with anticipation.

"BUSBY" - the cunty fuck 'then' mascot of British telecom (hey, it was the eighties).

Well, in seconds the story spreads quicker than the rage virus. I'm literally surrounded by a few hundered thugs, jostling me about and all the while chanting "buzz-be! buzz-be" over and over again like some moronic mantra.

Well, retaliation was the only way to nip this in the bud. So, I did what anyone my age would have done.

I burst into tears, and went home with a mysterious stomach bug. Took me a good week to recover from that one.

Still, great days.

To be fair, it was a shit insult but since that incident I have remained to this day emotionally damaged. The mere hint of Big Bird from Sesame Street fills me with impotent rage and panic.

Click *I like this* if you think I have a whopping huge penis. (does this ever work?)
(plant rolls out of bed like a fat wobbly tub of lard, Thu 4 Oct 2007, 20:45, Reply)