In which grandmasterfluffles has nipples like brave toy soldiers standing to attention
Before meeting the lovely Mr Fluffles, I had an OkCupid profile. Through it I received many strange messages. The guy who was desperately looking for a woman to sit on his face and fart was particularly brilliant, but even he couldn't compete with this. Make sure you are sitting comfortably and enjoy this masterpiece with some lube and a box of tissues.

i wudnt mind kissing u in the rain..getting in an argument with u on purpose..

getting u mad..
cos earning ur forgiveness after wud be bliss..
u wanna no how id do it ??..
heres how..
id come back in the room after stormin out.. dressed in a helmet n large riot gear cos u never no what u might throw at me ..
then id cautiously approach u get ur trust.. take off my helmet..
kiss ur lips..
kiss ur shulders..
get down on my knees..
slide up ur skirt..
kiss ur knees..
kiss ur hands..
begging for forgiveness..
if ur still..
in a strop..
id proceed to kissin ur elbows..
laying u back..
kissing ur stomach..
suddenly stopping..
take ur hand..
lead u up to the bedroom..
where u hear music..
soothing music coming from ur bedroom.. icecubes..
marshmellows..
babyoil..
skittles..
mnms ..
now ur blindfolded..
til i lead u in to the room..
where theres champaigne on ice..
a bed of roses..
well rose petals..
took me ages to de thorn em! ..
but ur smile was worth the pain..
cramps in my fingers..
im standing behind u kissing ur shulders u got this nice black dress on n i slide the shulder straps off slow im kissin ur collar bone i turn u round kissin ur sexy kissible lips in the rain lips taste jus like strawberry tongues we stumble over to ur bed of roses petals fall on to the bed i motion down to ur feet t gonna mess with them jus sliding off ur shoes real slow i em the foot t the shoe i ur leg ur knee back of ur legs i run my hands down ur sexy black dress down ur chest i lift it up slow just half way sumhow u got a marshmellow in ur navel i suck that out ur stomach i push ur in thighs apart here comes the best bit i ur inner thighs slow licking i tease u with my toingue i ease in slow u moan sigh i dun i run my hands underneath each thigh clutching u under my elbows pulling u forward i slowly gently thrust my tongue inside u u sigh a lil louder i u thrust aalil quicker thrusting deeper n deeper ur butt cheeks clenching im hold them in each palm ur inner thighs start to shake clenching clasping round my ears im going deaf so tight its nice it spurs me on to go in deeper in ur womb ur moan ur pelvis n hips moving back n forth uncontrollable thusting in rythm with my tongue back n forth back n forth the tempo speeds up nowur shaking more convulsing sweating i cant hear ur moans but ur thighs wrapped round my head say it al i taste ur womb on my tonsils i wanna come up but u got me down thre so tight i cant ur ankles digging in the back of my back ur ass cleching im gonna explode my self dam gurl feels gud **** j holliday heres archie moses i luv ur taste of u **** its so nice succulant can i fing er ur bum hole well i start fingering uncontrollably ur bum hole so tight i feel ur **** walls wrapped round my tongue n ur bum hole tighting round my fumb cum with me i want u too i finger u faster n faster ur heart beating immensely wanna feel ur **** juice on my tung bust baby bust comonnnnnnnnnnnn do it all over my face tastes nice r u fingering it

dam shud i go on or u gud i think ur gud lemmie c..
next..
i raise up to ur lips from r inner thighs..
i
kiss
ur brow
then down to ur lips
tongue kissing
ur panties
round ur ankles still
i push ur thighs apart
n slid up in u slow n gentle
thrusting
u moan slightly
still
semi turned on by the oral
u wrapped ur legs round my peach bum..
so tight
i have to push down on ur thighs
to get comfortable
u roll
over on me
now ur on top
u raise
up
massaging my chest ..
i take ur hand
n suck on ur fingers
one
by one

our
pelvises
thrusting
together
u start to
ride me
slow
ur hair
all in ur face
im having
to move it out the way of ur mouth n eyes
thrusting
faster
dam u tight

u work out
my hands lazily
on ur hips
but
concentration is inept
eye contact maintained
i put my fingers
in ur mouth
for u to bite on
gently!!!


shud i go on??




i like ur hat..
sitting on ur bed side table ..
so i reach out..
put it on u..
still riding u..
upping the tempo..
short in breath now..
jus laying there..
watching ur hips..
so sexy n smooth in my hands..
moving back in forth..
up n down..
in a circular motion..
feels so tight..
i wanna
arrive..
but u pinch me
hard!
shouting no!

carry on!
im dying here

u grab my hands
in put em on ur firm soft
breasts
nipples erect
like
brave
toy soldiers
standing to attention..
hearts pounding..
if i die
i wanna go
like dis..
u bouncing
up n down
on my
now
aching
enourmous
throbbing
member..
im in ecstascy..
heart rates up
my toes are getting ready to curl..
u moan
louder n louder
exhaling
ur hairs moved again
i cant move it cos it looks so sexy
runing over ur face
falling
on my chest
as u kneel
down
to tongue kiss
me
i clench
my but cheeks
n palm urs in my hands
tightenting the grip
letting u no
i wanna
cum
u kiss me
passionatly
i hold u in the clutches of my big strong arms
tightenting my hold
showin u
ur safe with me
n no
one
will ever hurt u here
u shudder
with
excitement
i shudder with u
we
exhale
at the same time
arriving together
i lay ur head on my chest
kiss ur hair
moving it out ur face n kissing ur sweating brow again
wiping the sweat wiv my hand

..
then
..

i
ask
ya..
im gonna need a cigarette..
and..
a..
light..

open..
the..
window..
its..
hot..
n steamy..
in here..

© By archiemrpoetmoses

Incidentally, ARCHIE_MOSES still has a profile on the site. Ladies, this man is single.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 17:51, 25 replies)

tl;dr - either you are a psycho-magnet or it was your dad pranking you.
i bet it was your dad.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 17:54, closed)

I am a psycho magnet
But also, this site is crap. It matched me with my brother.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 18:01, closed)

the prosecution rests.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 18:04, closed)

Also
My dad generally hangs out six feet under at the Jewish Cemetery in Rainham, where I've heard the wifi signal is a bit patchy :p
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 18:08, closed)

can i fing er ur bum hole

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 28 Nov 2012, 8:25, closed)

It was ringoffire wasn't it?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 27 Nov 2012, 18:06, closed)

It was actually a cunning long-game piece of trolling.
AND THE OP FELL FOR IT.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 18:58, closed)

See my reponse to rory below.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 28 Nov 2012, 4:15, closed)

Knew it was you.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 28 Nov 2012, 8:42, closed)

"I know you are but but what am I?"
As I said earlier - I feel I lack Archie Moses' poetic license.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 28 Nov 2012, 9:37, closed)

'marshmellows' made a blip on the gonzometer but the other readings show this to be a random error.

( Pig Bodine., Wed 28 Nov 2012, 10:53, closed)

Would you like a wormdo?
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 18:11, closed)

is this ascii art?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 18:15, closed)

'ur safe with me'
Yeah probably not
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 18:23, closed)

The subject line grabbed my attention
Then I read it and came to the conclusion that Shakespeare had nothing to fear.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 18:24, closed)

Ur.
Ur, ur, ur.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 19:52, closed)

Akkad.
Akkad, akkad, akkad.

lololololol
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 19:56, closed)

Sumerian humour, eh?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 20:50, closed)

Eridu!

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 23:11, closed)

Babilim!

( omnitruncatedkraken from Empire Algol, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 23:41, closed)

I'm actually crying with laughter
I like ur hat - of course, that's what everyone thinks about during, right?!
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 22:51, closed)

"i like ur hat...."
Fantastic!

Jesus, this made me laugh and cringe at the same time. Too bizzare.
( Ken Oath, Wed 28 Nov 2012, 2:19, closed)

Ur womb on my tonsils...
Urgghhhh!
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Wed 28 Nov 2012, 2:33, closed)