Solutions
Everything is a sodding solution these days.

Case in point: I passed a lorry this morning emblazoned with the phrase "Furniture Solutions".

"Solution", really? If I need to buy a chair I have a furniture problem, do I? And the only thing that can solve it is a "Furniture Solution". AAaaargh fuck off!

If I'm hungry, do I need a "Food Solution"? If I'm tired do I need a "Sleep Solution"??

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh and breathe
( rofl harris, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 15:29, 13 replies)

There are no problems
Only solution opportunities.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 15:29, closed)

arrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhh!
I'll say it again: arrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhh!
(dchurch bah, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 15:33, closed)

Furniture solution...
... dissolve a coffee table in a vat of acid.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 15:30, closed)

I was thinking that.
Furniture solutions in that sense would be quite cool. All you need is a big network of pipes and a bucket. Add some aqueous barium cloride to the furniture solution, and - voila! - a handy nest of coffee tables and a Billy bookcase precipitates out.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 15:35, closed)

^ Hahahaha
Genius. Someone should build this.
( rofl harris, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 15:42, closed)

^ This

( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 16:07, closed)

^ also this

(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 12:58, closed)

About 10 years ago an outdoor shop had a catalogue
that described tents as "Portable light weight shelter solutions"
(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 15:49, closed)

Had I seen that
I would have been driven mad with rage.
( rofl harris, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 16:01, closed)

Private Eye
used to run a regular weekly column featuring these.

My favourite is "Transport Solutions" emblazoned on the backs of lorries.
(WillI'mNot logs in twice a year, every year, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 15:57, closed)

I remember that.
My favourite was "Not just ink: solutions", decoded as "Ink".
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 16:53, closed)

The only thing that should be labelled "Solutions"
Is a catalogue containing the descriptions of preparations where one thing is dissolved in another thing.

As for a sleep solution, I find a large quantity of a 30-40% solution of ethanol in flavoured water a good start
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 0:31, closed)

Does my head in too
And my job title is "Solutions Architect". I am not an architect (would love to have been, but 7 years study seemed a bit much), nor do I have anything to do with dissolving anything in liquids. Unfortunately it seems to be a fairly common description so most people know what it means. Does anyone have any suggestions for something less wanky sounding?
( SteamedCleaner, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 7:23, closed)