Actual irrational hatred: Spider webs
I'm not overly keen on spiders, but they don't send me mental like Mrs Vagabond (honestly - she's unique and lovely in so many ways, but when it comes to spiders she turns into an absolute stereotype girly), but the webs - god the webs! Argh! They proper send me spastic - I hate everything about them, including the sound and feel - argh I'm getting upset just thinking about it - when they snap. Ugh. Have to go and twitch now.

Ergh.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 14:25, 11 replies)

What do spider webs sound like?
Like the sound of one hand clapping?
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 14:28, closed)

Break one and listen
Ugh.

I do believe they're the strongest substance known to man, and that experiments have been done splicing their genes with goats, in order to harvest the webs - they make an effective bullet-proof material, I understand.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 14:34, closed)

they sound like steel extruding.

(waxdart hello., Fri 1 Apr 2011, 14:34, closed)

'the sound' ?
How big are the spiders in your house? Are you Indiana jones looking for golden monkey statues?
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Fri 1 Apr 2011, 14:49, closed)

Kind of
But cooler and better looking.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 14:54, closed)

Than Indie or the monkey statue?

( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:39, closed)

Yes.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 16:23, closed)

Clearing out the garage, I put my head through a load of webs.
Wasn't paying attention and so didn't see it coming. They went in my mouth. Yuk.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 15:26, closed)

What do spider webs taste like?
They're made of protein, so I imagine quite meaty. Although the years of dust on old cobwebs probably adds a nice earthiness too...
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 17:25, closed)

Disappointingly unlike candyfloss.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 19:32, closed)

I used to have an old Nissan Micra
known as the Green Machine. Was older than me (just). One day I found a spiderweb in the offside mirror.

I named him Terence. He was tiny. I loved his ambition. If I didn't use the car for a few days he'd try to cocoon it. No matter what crazy scheme he'd try and fail at, he'd always turn up a couple of days later in the mirror, ready once again to begin plotting his next method to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! He went all over the south coast with me. I loved Terence. His web never bothered me, it was quite fun watching him cling on, buffeted by 54mph winds (twas a very shit car).

My brother (who was older, so the car was insured in his name) borrowed the car one day, saw the web, and took the GM through a car wash.

*sobs*

bastard

RIP Terence
( kappynitty doubled your entendre on, Sat 2 Apr 2011, 1:48, closed)