I've just been for a piss.
Not a major event in any life really.
But I Live on my own and, while enjoying said voiding of bladder, I burped. That's it, I burped.
There was no thundering fart, no embarrassing follow through, just a simple eructation.
Why the fucking fuck did I say out loud, "Excuse me!"?
Am I irrational or just socially conditioned?
(Docofair, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 23:10, 12 replies)

Long story short, you accidentally pissed in your own mouth?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 23:18, closed)

I cannot lie, I love piss.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 23:48, closed)

You sir are badly versed in true etiquette. The burp is needless of pardon nor excuse only a low
night soil collector would assume pardon.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 23:48, closed)

Would said night soil person accept an 'Excuse me'?

Hold fast! I was alone. Or so I thought.

Does that mean a strange man, employed to shovel shit should give me lectures in social intercourse?
(Docofair, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 0:22, closed)

Oh, the naivety of those who haven't yet grown accustomed to government listening devices.
THAT'S NOT A BATHROOM MIRROR, IT'S A TELESCREEN
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 23:49, closed)

You embarrass me.
I had no idea the government were watching through the mirror.

Had I known I'd have made an effort, carried said mirror to bedroom then accidentally wandered onto xhamster.
(Docofair, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 0:27, closed)

Better than the other way around.
I got so used to burping loudly on my own at home that I once burped in the office. Thankfully only a couple of people were around but it was still bloody embarrassing.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 23:13, closed)

But I genuinely keep my burps quiet, even when alone.
I still fucking say 'Excuse Me' when I do it!
(Docofair, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 1:15, closed)

Fuck all wrong with that.
I once worked with a bloke that could burp 'Good morning'.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 13 Oct 2013, 2:16, closed)

I can burp the Norwegian for carrot.
I do try not to do so in an office though.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 7:24, closed)

Clearly you've worked in the wrong type of offices.
I once had a boss who'd make a point of walking up to the forecasting bench just before a crew were due to come in to brief, let out a silent but deadly fart, then go back into his own office before they arrived so they'd think the forecaster did it.
He'd award himself bonus points if it was a girly forecaster on that shift.
:D
I've worked in an office where we had an Office Cat.
I've had paper ball and elasatic band fights at work, had Annual Staff Reviews in pubs and been driven to work in one of these: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bandvagn_206
And best of all I get paid to look out of the window, play with balloons and do some colouring in.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 13 Oct 2013, 19:21, closed)

It was a fun enough place to work.
With the odd rubber band ir oaper ball fight, the ldd time we'd get pissed on free booze in work time and all that. There just wasn't a general air of toilet humour. That and when I did burp it was while it was quiet and I did son casually.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 7:15, closed)