Jehovah's Witness came to the door I showed them, I told them I was
Jewish. LOLZ

Next time I told them I were gay. SUPERLOLS
Well fucking hard me.

No, a Jehovah's Witness and his family came to the door. I am always super polite and stated that I wasn't interested in their deist waffle. We had a frank discussion regarding their view (their theological interpretation of the bible.) We found no common ground. I was shocked by the parting shot of the ten year old boy in relation to creation and evolution (I had hinted that this was a better explanation of existence than god). The ten year old shouted, "IT IS ALL LIES, YOU ARE A LIAR!" Father and mother looked suitably pleased until I issued my brilliant riposte, "Oh fuck off." I win.

That's riposte not pea roast - btw.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 13:56, 26 replies)

Be they Jehovah's Witnesses, the local happy-clappies,
or some hard-up student selling their paintings, I always manage to be perfectly civil, than them for their interest, and politely decline what's being offered. Am I alone in this approach?

SafeStyle sales reps get the door closed in their faces, however.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 14:01, closed)

Safestyle and talktalk get very sworn at.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 14:07, closed)

What about Trick or Treat-ers?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 14:10, closed)

Never in for trick or treat, too busy up Pendle Hill with my coven casting spells n shit

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 14:18, closed)

Pendle Hill Hampstead Heath
ven casting spells n shit ck out
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 15:33, closed)

*sniggers*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 17:50, closed)

My cock will be out upon Pendle Hill, just less dog fingerers than Hampstead Heath.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 7:49, closed)

omg i said i wuz a satan wershipper it were well lol they wuz all like no wai an i was like graaargh an they wuz well scared

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 14:05, closed)

u neva - dat is wull lolz

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 14:08, closed)

Lol you should say yous well interested in jehovas witnessing and you would like there newsletter please
and then when they ask your address say it's "number 1, the moon, IN FUCKING SPACE"
Then do a lol and tell them to fuck off
(AWESOMEB0T meddling prick, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 14:32, closed)

This would well upset them because Jehovas Witnesses don't believe in space.
That's why there are no Jehovas Witness astronauts.
(AWESOMEB0T meddling prick, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 14:35, closed)

They must be well dipshit
stood at your front door and asking your address.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 14 Oct 2013, 16:25, closed)

It is actually quite a triumph
to be entitled morally, legally and in the eyes of every sentient person to tell a 10 year old to fuck off in front of its family.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 14:29, closed)

Little prick got off lightly, I would have held him down and given him a damned good blood transfusioning

(AWESOMEB0T meddling prick, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 14:33, closed)

So would Rabid_Rodent.
Apparently.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 14:49, closed)

Intra-anus transfusion?

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 14 Oct 2013, 16:26, closed)

My neighbour does a good one on them
She says she'll only accept a leaflet from their church if they accept one from hers. They always decline, and can never justify why....
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 15:17, closed)

Woah!! You really showed that kid!
I hope your next story is about you beating up a girl!

*swoons*
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 15:31, closed)

I had a family of some kind of religious types at the door
not Jehova's Witnesses, something even more hard-core, like the Plymouth Brethren or somesuch.

I am always polite, but this bunch weren't taking the hint. Before I closed the door in their face, I crouched down level with the lad, who was about 8 or 9, and told him that, while I'm sure he loves his mummy and daddy, and they love him, that doesn't mean that everything they say is true, and it's important that he thinks for himself and makes his own decisions.

A seed planted, I hope.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 16:23, closed)

I heard he's building a wicker man, just for you.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 17:35, closed)

^hopes to plant seed in an 8 year old^

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 18:06, closed)

..and the Plymouth Bretheren's most well known end product?
Aleister Crowley.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 14 Oct 2013, 19:07, closed)

I asked one lot
because your religion decrees that heaven is limited to exactly 144,000 people why are they so keen to get others to join in?

I did regret it though because they told me for a long time
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 16:37, closed)

My favourite part of this story is where you retain your dignity and the moral high ground and aim your constructive response at an adult.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 18:07, closed)

At least one person gets me, innit

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 11:10, closed)

You should have said thay you were a jewhovah's witness which is basically the same thing except that they have to show you their willies.
Then you would have got to look at their willies.
(AWESOMEB0T meddling prick, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 18:24, closed)