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This is a question Irrational people

Freddie Woo tells us "I'm having to drive 500 miles to pick up my son from the ex's house because she won't let him take the train in case he gets off at the wrong station. He's 19 years old and has A-Levels and everything." - Tell us about illogical and irrational people who get on your nerves.

(, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 12:24)
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Cause my rhymes
are so slick?
(, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 11:25, 2 replies)
and out you whip
your greasy dick
(, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 13:19, closed)
to beat it like
a shitty schtick
(, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 13:51, closed)
when you've finished
give it a flick
(, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 15:32, closed)

Besides his peculiar fascination with you, I rather like Albert's posts. That said, I'd have gone for something more like this (with apologies to Simon and Garfunkel)


Liebert:
I am not a poor boy -
I'm surrounded by my gold
I'm an Internet King Midas -
Just another of my tales with dodgy premises.
All lies and jests
Not a single one you'll want to hear
But here's some of my best:

Everyone else:
MMMmmmmmmmm! (accompanied by extravagant "chinny reckon" gestures)

Liebert:
So I got responsibilities
At my new place of employ
For checking out the CVs
But I used them for my masturbation
Fantasies.
Oglin' hoes -
Seeking out the poorer passwords
On that Hotmail, you know.
Perving hard
So I can blow my load.

Everyone else:
LIE-MA-LIE
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE
LIE-MA-LIE
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LALALALALIEEEEEE!

Liebert:
My portfolio runs to pages
I don't need no stinkin' job
And I get my coffees
Delivered by DeLorean - you know it's true!
See that blonde there?
Well, I had her on my moped, son -
It's how I make my fare.

Everyone else:
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE!

(instrumental break)

LIE-MA-LIE
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE
LIE-MA-LIE
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LALALALALIEEEEEE!

Liebert:
Every word is true you know
Each tale told with aplomb
As I've shown.
Well, perhaps there's just a hint of
Utter fantasy -
Possibly -
Bits may be wrong.


So here I stand, a pedlar
of unlikely escapades -
'til the /talk folk slipped their minders
now them cunts just put me down.
They trolled me 'til I cried out
In anger and in shame
"I am leaving! I am leaving!"
- and yet here I still remain.

Everyone else:
MMMMMMmmmmmm!

LIE-MA-LIE
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE
LIE-MA-LIE
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LALALALALIEEEEEE!

(repeat, fade to black)
(, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 20:37, closed)
I'm pretty sure I've never complemented your work
in the past but this gets a click. Well done
(, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 21:38, closed)
I am suitably touched.

(, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 22:52, closed)
strum strummy strum
strum strummy strum strum strummy strum strum strummy strum click!
(, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 23:28, closed)
A cut above most of the drivel on here.

(, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 8:30, closed)
*approves*

(, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:39, closed)
Front page this now.

(, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 13:55, closed)
Thanks, all!


And sorry, Albert.
(, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 22:20, closed)
I really like it.
Just slightly miffed at being pipped at the post as it were by Simon and Garfunkel!
(, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 22:54, closed)

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