Cause my rhymes
are so slick?
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 11:25, 2 replies)

and out you whip
your greasy dick
( rofl harris, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 13:19, closed)

to beat it like
a shitty schtick
( rofl harris, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 13:51, closed)

when you've finished
give it a flick
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 15:32, closed)

Besides his peculiar fascination with you, I rather like Albert's posts. That said, I'd have gone for something more like this (with apologies to Simon and Garfunkel)


Liebert:
I am not a poor boy -
I'm surrounded by my gold
I'm an Internet King Midas -
Just another of my tales with dodgy premises.
All lies and jests
Not a single one you'll want to hear
But here's some of my best:

Everyone else:
MMMmmmmmmmm! (accompanied by extravagant "chinny reckon" gestures)

Liebert:
So I got responsibilities
At my new place of employ
For checking out the CVs
But I used them for my masturbation
Fantasies.
Oglin' hoes -
Seeking out the poorer passwords
On that Hotmail, you know.
Perving hard
So I can blow my load.

Everyone else:
LIE-MA-LIE
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE
LIE-MA-LIE
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LALALALALIEEEEEE!

Liebert:
My portfolio runs to pages
I don't need no stinkin' job
And I get my coffees
Delivered by DeLorean - you know it's true!
See that blonde there?
Well, I had her on my moped, son -
It's how I make my fare.

Everyone else:
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE!

(instrumental break)

LIE-MA-LIE
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE
LIE-MA-LIE
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LALALALALIEEEEEE!

Liebert:
Every word is true you know
Each tale told with aplomb
As I've shown.
Well, perhaps there's just a hint of
Utter fantasy -
Possibly -
Bits may be wrong.


So here I stand, a pedlar
of unlikely escapades -
'til the /talk folk slipped their minders
now them cunts just put me down.
They trolled me 'til I cried out
In anger and in shame
"I am leaving! I am leaving!"
- and yet here I still remain.

Everyone else:
MMMMMMmmmmmm!

LIE-MA-LIE
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE
LIE-MA-LIE
LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LALALALALIEEEEEE!

(repeat, fade to black)
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 20:37, closed)

I'm pretty sure I've never complemented your work
in the past but this gets a click. Well done
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 15 Oct 2013, 21:38, closed)

I am suitably touched.

( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 22:52, closed)

strum strummy strum
strum strummy strum strum strummy strum strum strummy strum click!
( kombu dashi, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 23:28, closed)

A cut above most of the drivel on here.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 8:30, closed)

*approves*

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:39, closed)

Front page this now.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 13:55, closed)

Thanks, all!


And sorry, Albert.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 22:20, closed)

I really like it.
Just slightly miffed at being pipped at the post as it were by Simon and Garfunkel!
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 22:54, closed)