I refused the interview
Following university I was working, temporarily, for the local college. It was essentially an admin role where I worked to match the students with the local work experience places we had to ensure all the healthcare students got some relevant experience during the course. It was ok but far from the "career" I imagined.

That said I was good at it, got on with the other staff and got the job done.

So when they got round to interviewing for the post I didn't apply for it as in my mind I didn't actually want the job. It was fine as a temporary thing but I concluded I couldn't bear the idea of this being permanent.

Midway through the afternoon the head of department, a very nice but formal lady most in the department knew not to cross, came to pay me a visit.

She asked if I'd like to be interviewed for the job, I declined, but she persisted and told me quite frankly that if I went downstairs for the interview I'd get the job as the other candidates were quite dissappointing and they wanted me to stay on.

My mouth just engaged and it wasn't until I was done that I thought through my words, judging by the look it wasn't what she wanted to hear:
"I really don't want to keep doing this job longer than I have to and I really doubt the salary on offer is anywhere near what it would take for me to reconsider".

So they picked the least incompetent candidate who it turned out couldn't start until 5 days after I left for another job, so no chance for a handover. I visited the office about a month later as my then girlfriend was one of the students. Turns out the successful candidate was incompetent as many delighted in telling me. I saw her struggling with the database at her desk and I popped my head round the door and offered my help. I think she assumed I was one of the students or at best the tea boy as I was told "It's very technical you wouldn't understand it".
"Ok" I said and turned to leave. As I walked out I said, "shame as I wrote that database". I didn't look back.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 12:23, 9 replies)

The very last words you heard as you closed the door were
YOUR DATABASE IS COUNTER INTUITIVE.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 12:28, closed)

This sort of reminds me of someone who was trying to pass off something I developed as
his own.

As I had got terribly bored when developing the user interface (using VBA), I had dicked around a little.

"So, does your app have any Cartman in it?" I asked.

"What?" he says.

"Cartman. You know, fat bloke".

"What are you talking about?"

"Double click on the form title".

Up pops Eric Cartman in the middle of the form, with a big speech bubble saying "Respect my authority".
(username failed moderation, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 12:31, closed)

I used to like it when our Director of Nursing would pass my work off as his when sending it on to the Strategic Health Authority,
then the SHA would pass it off as their own when sending it back to me.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 13:42, closed)

"Why isn't this spreadsheet working? Whoever wrote this is an idiot!"

"Well, actually, you've typed over the cells that calculate the results"

"It's still stupid. Anyway, how do you know what was there?"

"I'm the idiot that wrote it"

"Oh good. So can you fix it then?"

"no"
(username failed moderation, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 17:16, closed)

Use password protect in future
You can specify cells that cannot be clicked on, much less typed over. It's invaluable when you're creating any sort of complicated thing.
(Eukanuba, Tue 26 Nov 2013, 1:35, closed)

Yeah, ta.
Actually I normally arrange it so that any trashable cells are in separate columns, then I hide the columns.

To be honest I don't do a lot of that stuff nowadays anyway, but my old stuff is still in circulation.
(username failed moderation, Tue 26 Nov 2013, 9:17, closed)

Sweet.
I always wondered what nerdlosers fantasised about. Turns out it's knowing a bit more about databases than an inept low salary dobber.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 12:32, closed)

Needless to say, he had the last laugh.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 12:35, closed)

It's funny how uncomfortable somebody's minor victory makes you.

(McChinaman banned, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 16:35, closed)