Intersmash
You know, there's a point during an interview when you know you've not been successful. The interviewer changes tack and starts to make the job sound more difficult than it actually is. "The spreadsheets are massive, 100s of rows, dozens of pages each.... You have to create weekly reports for senior management... The chairs aren't very comfortable..." and so on. Doing everything to try and talk you out of it without having to say "Actually, you might as well leave now, we're not going to give you the job, even if the other two candidates suddenly win the lottery or drop dead."

So, what's intersmash?

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INTERSMASH: (v) To purposefully & dramatically drive a job interview off the rails after the sudden clarity that you are not going to get an offer. Intersmashing options include suddenly speaking in a thick Italian accent or feigning Rapture.
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I'm from Hull, we have an awful accent, but I was enunciating well. However, he had a Doncaster accent, slightly Yorkshire, but not much. At that point I began talking like him. By that time I thought "fuck it", and progressed to a full on Barnsley accent, pushed my chair back and had my hands behind my head, grinning inanely as if being sucked off under the table.
"Do you have any questions?"
"Yes, what's the promotion ladder like? By which I mean, how long are you likely to stick it out before moving on and getting another job elsewhere? Would it be worth going after your job if you leave and is it good money?" I may even have slipped in a 'by gum' at one point.

After a few more minutes of acting like I'd just caught ADHD, I sat back forward, beat out a short drum fill-in on the desk, yawned somewhat loudly like my dad used to at the end of World of Sport and asked "What else? Anything? Nothing? How soon before you make a decision?" I asked, knowing full well that he had 10 minutes ago.
He stood up, and leaned over to shake my hand. I stood up and pushed my chair over with the back of my knees. I shook his hand, picked the chair up and he showed me out.

Now you're wondering "did I get the job?" No of course I fucking didn't.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 12:30, 7 replies)

You should have got a couple of
fags off him, for the train home.
(username failed moderation, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 12:33, closed)

as in homosexuals

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 12:44, closed)

I'm telling Lucy Spraggen.

(username failed moderation, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 12:51, closed)

Still on the barter economy?
How quaint.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 13:28, closed)

No, I take
the district line.
(username failed moderation, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 14:14, closed)

So I heard, sailor.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 15:45, closed)

'grinning inanely as if being sucked off under the table'
I wish I knew what that was like.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Tue 26 Nov 2013, 3:08, closed)