Dairy of a wimpy kid
It was 1991. John Major and Norman Lamont had done fucked up and brought the country to its knees. There were billions of people out of work, billions.

I was 18, didn't fancy Uni (fucking idiot) and so I thought I would try and get a job locally with a rather spiffing 3 A levels in Chemistry (D), English Lit (E) and History (E).

The local Dairy advertised for a junior lab tech to basically test milk samples. I filled in the application form, which was a bit of a struggle to answer in places such that it was filled with the sort of questions that struck fear in to the heart of this mollycoddled inexperienced refusenik.

I sat in the waiting room for my turn amongst my rivals. It didn't take long to deduce that I didn't stand a chance. What should have been a horde of green wet-behind-the-ears school-leaving nomarks (not unlike myself) worthy of the position advertised, was in fact a gaggle of suited, experienced go-getters.

I chatted to the two chaps either side of me. They both had degrees and were desperate for a job, any job, so here they were. Marvellous.

My interview simply consisted of a rather vexed and stressed looking woman confirming my name and age and whether I would be willing to work shifts. I am reasonably confident that I answered those questions correctly, and if my chances for employment hinged on those two minutes, maybe I might be head of yoghurts or something by now, but no. Interview terminated, (I even thanked her for her time), I was shown the door, never to be contacted again.

I like to think that I had no chance given the competition, but in truth a non toilet-trained monkey with bad attitude would have been a better bet.
(mersault, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 13:20, 2 replies)

sorry, you seem to have left the interesting stuff out
this just seems to be a bland story about how you didn't get a job
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 13:42, closed)

I got as far as his inability to spell 'diary'.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Nov 2013, 12:43, closed)

If only you knew.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 26 Nov 2013, 13:46, closed)

Awww.

(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Tue 26 Nov 2013, 15:43, closed)

i think it's supposed to be a clever pun

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 26 Nov 2013, 17:39, closed)