This may get me in trouble . . .
Bugger it - it's still an apt story for this QOTW.

Mr Legless, as you all have previously read, was married once to a fat gold-digger with a penchant for infidelity (and I'm being diplamatic here).

She took everything in the divorce (funnily enough it was her screwing around that caused it), and made merry while my Legless had a miserable number of years post this.

Where's the karma you ask ??

Well, Joe's now here in Australia with me - we're happy (even if we both work more than the average bear), looking at buying a nice house to live in (given we already have an investment property), and planning a wedding later this year (whenever I can be arsed thinking about flowers, receptions and the long list of people my Mum will want there).

And what of the pig? I believe she's still in the village, still fat, still snotty, and still alone. So (here is where the trouble might be), here is my message to you, you waste of DNA:

Thank you.
Despite treating my Joe like the local bank, and making his life a misery, he still has someone who will happily walk to the end of the earth for him, who cherishes him, looks after and is looked after by him. You didn't break him, though by God you had a good shot at it. You won't be here when we start a family of little ones, or as we watch them grow into good people. You won't know what having a good circle of friends and family feels like. You have no idea what a stable home life built on trust and partnership feels like. There's only so much satisfaction to be gained from nights at the pub with your "gal pals" or from work (I believe you actually had to go and find a job now that your ill-gotten gains have run out - welcome to the real world).

Hurts, does it? Good - it might make up just a little for what you did to Joe.

When you're old(er), your daughter has left home, and you ponder what could have been in your life . . . remember you had a good man who you treated like dirt - and pray your little girl *doesn't* follow your appalling example and end up just as alone.
I don't need to curse you for what you did to Joe - you managed very well to induce divine retribution for the sorry human being you are.

So again, I thank you for being too self-centred, too weak and too stupid to know a good man when you see one.



Mrs Legless
(the *real* one who actually deserves the name)
( Mrs Legless . . . belongs to, well, you know . . . :), Sun 24 Feb 2008, 0:36, 11 replies)

We all cherish him
I for one am glad ole Legless has a woman in his life that appreciates him.

He's populated the board with many amusing anecdotes and always seems to have a story befitting the QOTW.

Best wishes to the both of you.
(Lurkaloid awarded wanking black belt on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 0:49, closed)

Mr Legless
bless him, he has entertained us, and sometimes bored us, but he's always a welcome contributor, as I hope you will be in future. God, I wish I was living in Oz.
(Dr Teeth Who asked you, you fuckin' hobbit?, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 2:14, closed)

.........
He's a very lucky man.

/leaves to find lady daft enough to have him.
(kickstandrich last had sex with your mum/sister/wife/daughter on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 4:02, closed)

Well told
and all the best for your happy future!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Sun 24 Feb 2008, 10:55, closed)

Warms me cockles ....
To know that there is a happy ending for some people eventually.

I only pretend to be a sardonic and cynical old tart.
( girlinthehole, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 12:10, closed)

I have the 'privilege'
Of meeting the aforementioned gold-digging trollop. I say met, Legless pointed her out one night in the Sun... For some reason she kept looking at me with an avaricous glint in her eye.

Or it could have been a squint. Either way, I avoided eye contact and concentrated on my beer instead. That, and indulging in filthy jokes with Legless.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 24 Feb 2008, 13:45, closed)

Woo to you both!
All the best for the future :)
( Maladicta, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 17:25, closed)

Applauds mightily!
Congratulations girl!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 18:07, closed)

woo!
that makes me all happy for you!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 11:11, closed)

Joe?

I always thought his name would be Clancy or Tarquin!

Congratulations to you both!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 9:07, closed)

^^
Clancy-Tarquin is his double-barrelled middle name... He confided this to me in a moment of drunken foolishness...

(Sorry, Legless).
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 26 Feb 2008, 11:26, closed)