A long time ago.
A tap dancer used to live in the flat above me. She was a talented young thing but fuck was she inconsiderate. ALL we could ever here was the incessant clicking clacking and skiffling of this stupid bitches feet. "CLICKEDY CLICKEDY CLAP CLIP TAP!" The ceiling would shout on regular occassions, one time it took me by surprise so much I nearly choked on my pizza.

But karma was just around the corner.

The dancer got hit by a car and became quadraplegic. Now I'm not saying she DESERVED this but hey, it put a stop to her tap dancing and allowed my flatmates and I to inflict some karma upon her ourselves.

We frequently pissed in the lift of our building, so that whenever she wanted to go out (with her carer/mother) from the 6th floor she had to put up with that vile stench.

When we walked past her aparment we'd shout "DANCE FOR ME NOW SPACKER!" and the likes, as well as constantly playing knock a door dash.

We also took to hitting the ceiling with the mop in the middle of the night in the hope that she'd realise how annoying it was.

And before you accuse me of being cruel remember that I said she definitely wasn't deserving of the car crash, so *that* evidently wasn't the karmic retribution for her annoying dancing. All we did was take it upon ourselves to give her a punishment befitting her crime.
(Tip-Top Tomcat but you can call me Tommo, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 20:51, 12 replies)

The word I'm looking for...
Is "cunt", I think. Yes, thats the one that describes you adequately. Pissed in the lift eh? What a quality human you are, makes me proud to breathe the same air as your good self.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 20:56, closed)

You bastards!
So she loves to tap, spends her whole life perfecting it, then she gets in an accident and cant do it anymore...

So you take it upon yourself to shout DANCE FOR ME NOW SPACKER?!

You better bloody be making this up, because thats just sick.
(Pointless as a chavs bathroom, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 21:03, closed)

I was going to join in with hating you
But then I thought what if it were me in that situation and it happened to me *all the bloody time*? Yes, I would probably grow to hate her too, but doubt I would piss in a lift....
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 21:09, closed)

Jesus people..
Calm down a little, this is quite obviously invented, and perhaps a pointed criticism of an earlier post on here....
(Boar is dreaming of get rich quick schemes..., Tue 26 Feb 2008, 21:11, closed)

I, too,
hope that this is made up.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 21:46, closed)

It was indeed meant to be a piss take,
of some of the rather... extreme answers posted in this QOTW, one about turning a local chav into a vegetable and removing his teeth with pliers springs to mind.
(Tip-Top Tomcat but you can call me Tommo, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 22:06, closed)

I retract my previous statement
And am totally embarrased at going off at it like a prize clown. It was so indicative in the guise of one of the neds that post so-called "funny" stories like that, that I was taken in hook, line & sinker. Good one, I'm now going off to sulk.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Wed 27 Feb 2008, 4:57, closed)

That was probably the funniest reply I'd read
until I found out it wasn't true.

:*(
( Matoosh would rather like a biscuit, Wed 27 Feb 2008, 8:21, closed)

I'm glad
that was a lie. My troll-dar must be way off today...
(jennymnemonic, Wed 27 Feb 2008, 11:03, closed)

Oops
You are a very convincing writer ;-)

Apologies for flame.
(Pointless as a chavs bathroom, Wed 27 Feb 2008, 12:20, closed)

If it was true
you'd be a cunt through and through. However it's not. So well done on a good piece of writing.

However, with a Quadriplegic wouldn't it be more "knock-a-door-saunter-off-lazily"?
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Wed 27 Feb 2008, 12:39, closed)

I laughed until I wet 'em
It must have been the inspired use of the word spacker
(frankspencer, Wed 27 Feb 2008, 17:18, closed)