And so... I vomitted three times before and during the clean up...
My son is just turned one... and I mean just turned because his birthday was yesterday.

And a lot of people blow smoke up your arse about how cute your kid is, and how clever and what not and I think a few months ago I was starting to believe that he might be truely gifted.

Until one morning I hear screaming from the living room as Im making him some brekkie...

I rush back in and the little angel is standing at the stair gate like a teeny prisoner, crying his little heart out to be rescued... and he's managed to get his nappy off on one side and is standing with it round one ankle...

And I cant understand what all the tears are about until I look closer.

He'd had a massive crap, (and I mean a MASSIVE morning crap), got his nappy off and smeared excrement all over the laminate...

...and then, I don't know - for some really "gifted" reason thought he'd see how it tasted.

He smiled at me through the tears and all I could see was slightly orange coloured shit caked on his two newly sprouted top teeth.

Personally I prefer porridge for breakfast.
(Kaplaaah Wasting time on the net since 1994., Fri 18 Apr 2008, 10:40, 2 replies)

Dear God.....
*goes pale*
I didn't want to read that with the hangover I've got.
*boke*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 10:49, closed)

my mum often found my brother
with a brown ring around his mouth and a half-chewed turd clenched in his pudgy little fist. it earned him the lifelong nickname of "gobshite", although he has told me in no uncertain terms that, if i ever tell anyone how he got this nickname, he will stab me in the eye.
i'm glad he doesn't come on here
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 1:18, closed)