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This is a question Kids

Either you love 'em or you hate 'em. Or in the case of Fred West - both. Tell us your ankle-biter stories.

(, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 15:10)
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Happily for me,
and the world at large, I was sterilised last year so with any luck, no-one will ever have to suffer whatever I may have spawned.

It's safe to say I'm not a fan of kids, generally and I have lots of fun winding them up....

Kid 1 - gobshite son of a chav. I was calling him a girl. He was not impressed. Told him he was a girl cos he liked pink. He got proper angry at this, and I pointed out that he liked red. He agreed. I asked him if he liked the colour white. He said yes. 'There you go then,' says I, 'red and white make pink, you like pink!'
He promptly burst into tears.
I laughed my arse off.

Kid 2 was at the same chavs wedding and thought it would be a hoot to go around kicking all the guests in the shins. For some reason the parents and plenty of others thought this was cute. I thought said spawn was a nasty little shit.
He started kicking me hard in the shins, because he (and I quote) 'thought it was funny to hurt girls'
Unfortunately for said brat, I was wearing New Rocks - huge thick cowhide boots with big lumps of metal on them, including on the toes.
I lifted my skirt to my knees, looked down, smiled sweetly and said 'my turn'
Kid shat himself and ran back to his parents screaming.
I laughed my arse off.

Not that I was any better. I recall in infants school, the teacher had written a maths problem in my book. My answer?
'Why should I tell you, pig-face?'
I got a bollocking from the headmistress, then she sent me back to class with a packet of Fruit Gums. Most odd.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 13:59, 2 replies)
I like this
Got a grin from me.
(, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 14:03, closed)
Oh yes
New Rocks are fun when little children decide to kick you, or indeed anyone decided to kick you.
(, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 2:30, closed)

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