dont know...
if you are male or female but let me if i may offer you the worst piece of advice i have ever been given..

my mum was 19 when she got 'caught' first time out. yip virgin/preggers, she always told me...

live your life see the world DONT have kids young! IT WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE.

this is not true. i find in truth you cry when a life leaves this world - not when it enters. ive found this as my back teeth get more apparent and my belly gets less of a benefit on the beach.

even despite the fact my mum and i loved each other like there was no one else in the world and my dad was an aggressive insecure alchoholic. life was 'varied' growing up.

my dad bullied and terrified me all through my childhood. this made me fearful of being a father myself - it seemed too much a responsibiity - especially if i had a son. it would be my job to make him a man but not an insensitive emotional retard.

i met the girl of my dreams at 19. we were METICULOUS about birth control for 12 or so years then decided yeah! lets have a wee one.

didnt work out so easy, had to have IVF, we now have the most gorgeous wee boy (hes a professional model at only 2 years old - dont worry im not some pushy cunt - i'm an art director so i 'casted' him.

he is so special.

but at 39 (me) and 42 (mrs spimf) the chances of another successful IVF have been rated at 3% - optimistically. oh and it wil cost 5 grand yeah even at those odds.

have your kids young. you have more energy and they are whatever anyone says on here the single most rewarding and wonderful thing you will ever do.

so dont worry about jobs/career money or that shit. look back at the worst financial/ career disaster that ever happened to you. means fuck all now doesn't it.

so happy fucking

sorry if this sounds worthy but if it helps one b3tard then cool

no irony this time

sorry for length and distinct lack of punchline
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 2:07, 8 replies)

Kids at a young age, yup.
I agree, kids at a young age, but still within reason.
My first was born when I was 17, back in 1997, nowadays that seems to be an old age to have them, my second was born in late 2000, and my third and final was born in 2003.
I'm a 27 year old bloke with 3 kids, 10,7 and 5, and I wouldn't change it for the world.
I'd kill my ex for more access though.

On a similar note, my current missus (4 years now) has 2 kids my age, and one of them has 2 kids and they both call me grandad, at twenty-bloody-seven!
(Mensa Reject has gone out, I'll be back on, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 2:35, closed)

I had mine at 26 and 28.....
Even that was a bit old I thought.....at least once they got old enough to be little bundles of energy. Some days I can't keep up and wish I had them at 20.

Though it is a coincidence that say 'don't worry about jobs/career or money".....I saw a show earlier this evening where a couple was having their house appraised. The point was that they felt they didn't have a large enough house to start having babies. This couple was in a 2400 square foot house FFS! I'm raising 2 in only 1000 sq ft.......granted, we say it is 'cozy and close' rather than 'packed in like sardines'

So, all in all, I'd have to agree.....have them while you are a bit younger. You'll have the energy for it, still be alive to watch your grandchildren grow up, and no matter how long you put it off because of money or a job....you will never feel like you have enough money.

Though, don't have them so young that you are either still a child yourself or that you are an idiot. My sister had her first at 16. (preggo at 15...Yikes!)
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sat 19 Apr 2008, 2:43, closed)

^^
if you killed her you'd probably have permanent access

chances are you could solicit an entirely not connectable, totally annoymous psycho on this very board - and they'd do it for a star wars original merchandise item still boxed with receipt and a pt noodle - chicken and mushroom obv

just saying like
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 3:16, closed)

^ ^
unfortunately, I don't have any star wars merchandise to offer to help with the poor guy's problem.........but I do know a few local nutters.

Though, if I were him, I'd rather not trust something so important to a stranger....better to do it yourself so you know the bodies are well hidden.......
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sat 19 Apr 2008, 3:43, closed)

well....
i'm told my little badger dating friend the best way to ensure they 'dont never surface nor nowt' is to wrap them in chicken wire with various heavy objects chucked in the folds then get a friendly/dodgy trawler man to dump them 60 miles or so of the coast.

that 'll learn em. specially if you forget to kill them first.

just saying
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 3:50, closed)

Hadn't thought of the chicken wire option...
I do know woodchippers aren't the way to go. There is always a bit of blood and bone left in the chipper.

Good thing I know lots of cops, huh? They have the *best* ideas for hiding bodies.

(not that I'd ever need that knowledge.....)
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sat 19 Apr 2008, 4:27, closed)

It seems to me...
that one of the biggest factors about whether you feel that having children at young age was good choice for you, is how you feel/felt about the partner you had them with. My Mom had her first child at 19, which is the worldwide average. She had the marry the guy, who turned out to be an utter utter cunt of the highest order. She spent most of my life trying to prevent me from getting pregnant lest the same happen to me. What she should have tried to prevent was me shacking up with a cunt, much more important.

I'm 27 and about to have my first child, and I feel that I would have liked to have had children a lot younger. But on the upside, my husband of three years/partner of six is everything I could have wanted in someone to share my life and offspring with. Certainly worth waiting for :)
(Cryptoprocta has abandoned the username of Voodoo Mary, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 17:26, closed)

In my opinion
it depends on the person. To look at it from a different perspective, my parents had me when they were 36 and 41, I was the product of fertility treatment and as a result am the only one. I am now 20 and my dad will soon be 62 and seems to have turned into a little old man in the last year, having had a heart attack. Being the only one and well aware that my parents are aging and soon may not be able to look after themselves leaves me with a huge sense of responsilbility. My best friend is considering emigrating and my only thought is "What if something happens to mum and dad and they need looking after? I can't be in another country then". I'm still at uni, I shouldn't be thinking about these things yet! So from that perspectve yes, do have your children younger.

However, being only 20 I haven't a clue what I want from life! I'm far too busy having a laugh with my friends, learning chemistry and enjoying the amazing student city that is Brighton. I know it would be devastating to me if I got pregnant now because I wouldn't be able to finish my degree and graduate with my year, whom I love so dearly (there are only 23 of us, we're pretty close). Personally I don't want to settle and think about that just yet, cos a) I might actually have to admit that I am a responsible adult (cough cough) b) I'm getting old and c) I might have to face the prospect of giving up my beloved subject. I'm just gonna leave things like that to an older and wiser me and enjoy my uni years :)
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 16:11, closed)