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This is a question Kids

Either you love 'em or you hate 'em. Or in the case of Fred West - both. Tell us your ankle-biter stories.

(, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 15:10)
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#7 Beware of them going quiet.
About nine years ago when my twins were toddlers I bought a lovely new rug for their bedroom.

I had laid it all myself and imagined years or even months of joyous playtimes on the lovely new rug - I had visions of Bob the Builder playing with Dizzy the cement mixer on the rug while Spud frolicked nearby with the JCB digger thing whose name I've forgotten. But it was not to be….

I'd put the dastardly duo to bed - nice warm bath, milk, story and into their cots next to the lovely new rug. Then it was downstairs to hit the wine bottle and read a book in peace (this was BB - before B3ta).

Sometime later the ex-MrChickenlady returned from the local pub and we went to bed after checking on the babies - they were still in their angelic milk-fuelled fug.


And soon a gentle peace settled on the tiny Chicken household, a peace which was sadly short-lived.



I woke rather later than the normal 6 am when I would usually be brought to consciousness by the dulcet tones of stereo babies crying as they were both hungry and their backsides were smeared in the devil's dollops.

But not today.

Today I woke of my own accord at around 7.00am and all I could hear was giggling. Oh joy! I think, they've at last discovered how to keep themselves entertained! Hooray! I could see the vistas of normal adult life beginning to open up again in front of me…I too would be able to have a lie in!

So I turned over and got back to thinking about kittens.

Then about half an hour later I came to again…still only giggling and murmuring could be heard from their lair.

Hmm….suspicion kicks in….

What is it that they're doing that's keeping them occupied despite the cacky pants and hunger?

My curiosity overcomes my desire for sleep and I venture out of bed. Slowly I open their bedroom door….

Oh dear God.

They have climbed out of their cots - the first time they've achieved this.



They have climbed onto the changing table (okay, so it was a chest of drawers with a changing mat on top) - this is about three feet tall and I can see no visible means of scaling it unless they opened some of the drawers or climbed on each other.

On a shelf above the table stood a newly opened jar of Zinc and Caster Oil cream (for nappy rash) and a newly opened packet of baby wipes - Johnson's I seem to remember.

Now both boys are sitting on the lovely new rug…but the rug is no longer lovely.

Neither are the walls.

Or the boys.

The room is an explosion of wipes and cream. The cream has been rubbed in…..into the walls, into the rug, into their hair.



I believe this was just before they attempted to set fire to the house.
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:18, 10 replies)
Been there
Clicky for sympathy.

Random 'Juniorisations' have involved the use of wipes, Sudacrem, toothpaste, potting compost, sand, mud, cat food and poo, usually in concert with trains/cars that need 'tracks'.

Oh, and cheese. And raisins. Toilet roll. The list goes on.

I mean I leave enough razor blades and shotgun cartridges lying around to keep him away from the babywipes, but he doesn't take the hint.

(And I'm now wondering when he will do the arson thing. Thanks, another paranoia to add to my collection)
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:53, closed)
Heeheehee!
Just wait!
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:54, closed)
ChickenGit
I'll be searching the house for all sources of ignition tonight now.

*sweats*

*checks smoke alarm*

*twice*
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 13:19, closed)
Hahahaha,
any pics?
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 13:52, closed)
No pics
Once I'd finished laughing (out of their sight) I had to do the whole "This is very bad" talk and then clean up. Photos may have encouraged further wrecking behaviour.


Although no photos has also appeared to encourage wrecking behaviour.
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:23, closed)
for some reason
I know that the JCB thing was called "Scoop".
I hate myself.
I don't even have kids!
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:31, closed)
Z & C cream
yep, I had to scrape that up a few times .... its a bugger to shampoo out as well.

*click*
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:04, closed)
Scoop!
Of course!
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:36, closed)
fire!
is it only boys who love fire? my brother, round about the age of 5, woke early one morning and decided to have a bit of fun.
said fun resulted in my parents being woken by the smell of smoke.
after screaming for a few seconds, they both pelted down the stairs to see a very happy brother monkey sitting on the hall carpet, right in front of the lovely bonfire he'd built out of a full box of cook's matches, minus the one it took to light it.
we never did find out how he got the matches off the high shelf.
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 19:34, closed)

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