On a nicer note
My Mum and Aunt are identical twins, so my cousin was more like my brother when we were growing up. We also seem to have that weird psychic link twins get. Anyhoo, I don't really seem to remember anything happen to me as a kid, it all happened to my cousin. Including:

My cousin falling out of my Grandads plum tree and landing legs either side of a lower branch. I remember my Mum, Aunt and Dad all taking him to the bedroom to make sure his 'bits' were ok. My Dad had to leave the room as my cousins swollen, purple testicles made him feel unwell.

My cousin and me sharing a bath and my Dad trying to scrub an ink mark off my cousins head with a flannel. Turns out it was a vein.

Anyone remember bath crayons? When it was still ok for kids to share baths you used to be able to buy special crayons that you could draw on your bathing partner with. I wrote COCK on my cousins back. As it turns out my cousin was allergic to this particular brand so despite the crayon washing off, he walked around for a week with COCK written on his back in red, raised skin. I got smacked.

Having a water fight with my cousin, I ran indoors and grabbed a watersprayer, squirting my cousin as he followed me. Turns out it wasn't the one my Mum used to do the ironing with, it was the one containing cleaning fluid and it bleached my cousins hair and clothes.

He taught me how to pick it, lick it, roll it, flick it.

Jumpers for goalposts.

He's a father now (which we were all surprised at after the plum tree incident) and has two lovely kids of his own. I can't wait to teach them to swear.
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 12:09, 2 replies)

*clicky*
...for the COCK story, which is ace.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:13, closed)

*click click*
For the .. he was trying to scrub an ink mark off my cousins head with a flannel. Turns out it was a vein.

Genius!!
(misshotlips, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 14:08, closed)