I don't even take a book
Dear HR department,

Due to my irrational fear of other people’s toilets, I can only poop at home.
As such please take this letter as confirmation that I am unable to take a dump during working hours.

Please therefore increase my annual leave quota by one week to bring me inline with the rest of my department.

Kind regards,

Dervel
( Dervel OTBC, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 14:30, 12 replies)

I can shit anywhere me
Although I perhaps should of kept that statement to myself when I was wooing a young lady in London some years ago. It wasn't my best chat up line.
(Corbo, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 14:54, closed)

PS
As a non-smoker, can I also have an additional week's leave for not getting up from my desk hourly to join the legion of the damned, huddled outside the building, indulging their filthy habit? (and smoking)
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 17:25, closed)

That's the one i really hate
The smoking bastards who are excused for 30 minutes a day to satisfy their dirty fucking tab habit.

I thought of starting to join them, not to smoke, but just stand outside with them for the duration, just to see what the bosses say. Unfortunately, one of the worst offenders is the boss.
( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 9:53, closed)

I agree heartily...
...as a smoking bastard who isn't allowed smoke breaks, I think all the cunts who are excused for them should be soundly beaten!
(Rotimer was micturating windward at, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 13:38, closed)

It should be taken as part of their contractual break times!

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sat 6 Mar 2010, 13:40, closed)

We timed a smoker for a week....
based on the time she left the office to when she logged back in, we then went to the bosses and asked for THREE WEEKS paid leave to make it fair.
(paof2 Nude might not be rude, but rude could be nude..., Tue 9 Mar 2010, 19:50, closed)

But hey!
You save money by the "shit at work" policy. I hardly get thru any lav roll at home.
(gearanach #wankwankwank, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 18:50, closed)

I'm the same
Used to go home at lunch when I lied over the road. Can get quite annoying now I've moved...
(Something funny, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 20:00, closed)

I disapprove.
There's no need for dishonesty about roads.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 21:05, closed)

Hahahaha!

( Dervel OTBC, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 9:57, closed)

on reflection,
a bit of a cheap shot. sorry!
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 1:23, closed)

You lied over the road?
Did you get runned over?
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sat 6 Mar 2010, 13:41, closed)