Dear Drama Queens...
Please get a little bit of perspective, just because you are embroiled in your latest emotional crisis it doesn’t give you the right to broadcast it to all in sundry. Just take a bit of time out to consider how important it is in the long term and you’ll find that punching the wall, crying pointlessly or generally acting like a cunt is just wasting your time and mine. Don’t get me wrong, I’m, not a Zen or Yogi master, I get angry, I get fucking furious. I’ve had a galactically shit year that would push most people over the edge and listening to you bitch and moan about your latest problem really doesn’t help, I make the effort to be personable, and yes, it is an effort. I manage to maintain a polite, light hearted conversational style on a daily basis without losing it so why can’t you? Your petulance and inability to cope with everyday life is insulting.

There are a number of things you do that really hack me off. For instance, if you have an allergy to nuts and someone offers you something that may have once been in the same universe as a peanut then simply say ‘No thanks’. Don’t swoon and with great gusto say ‘ooh, nuts I can’t have nuts, I’m allergic you know’ then continue to describe various unsavoury symptoms, I don’t want to hear them and you’re putting me off my Tracker.

At least the allergic have something actually wrong with them. If you’re not good at something then don’t make excuses for it by making something up. If you’re fat, let’s face it, it’s probably not your glands, asthma or that you’re big boned, it’s because you eat too much and do too little. The law of thermodynamics is simple, energy in, energy out, whingeing about it won’t help. You need to actually do something instead of expecting some magic quick fix. If you have a failing then at least be honest enough to admit it. Don’t say you’re aspergic if you habitually treat people like shit or dyslexic if you have never picked up a book in your life, Shut up, grow a spine and come back when you’ve got some real problems, we’ll have a chat, it’ll be nice.

- Jam

Ps I’m really not usually this judgemental but it has been a less than desirable day…
( JamHamster My eyes, my beautiful eyes!, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 21:29, 18 replies)

Can i copy that
and send it to a few people who really need to hear that?
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 21:52, closed)

Please do!
That's what it's there for, could you slap 'em upside for me too please? ;-)
( JamHamster My eyes, my beautiful eyes!, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 21:54, closed)

The girl who sits opposite me and screams things like 'why is this happening to ME?' and then comes and asks for help whenever she notices she's made a mistake in her simple data entry job, REALLY needs to have something like this sent to her.
(just pouring lizards, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 21:55, closed)

Aw, Bless..
If it's at work you might need to tread carefully, she may be wetarded... ;-)
( JamHamster My eyes, my beautiful eyes!, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 22:01, closed)

as someone who used to be VERY fat
i would just like to say that people who make crap excuses about their weight really piss me off. i like food. i fucking love chocolate. i'm not fond of exercise, except swimming and sex. being fat was my fault and my responsibility, so i did something about it. if i can do it, anyone can.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 22:03, closed)

Yay!
That's what I like to hear - go you! ;-)
( JamHamster My eyes, my beautiful eyes!, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 22:17, closed)

It's not my fault I'm fat...
I have a very bad addiction to fried egg sandwiches.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sat 6 Mar 2010, 10:23, closed)

brilliant
mine is bacon toasties
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 11:15, closed)

oh fuck YES
the PERFECT after-pub snack!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 18:59, closed)

ex fucking actly,
I am Fat, I love curries and sitting down, therefore Im fat. At christmas I decided I did not want to be fat anymore, now I excercise and have lost nearly two stone already.
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 15:24, closed)

i just cheated

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 18:59, closed)

Too right
I got told by my doctor this week to lose a little bit of weight (about half a stone) and instead of whining about it I've stopped snacking and started getting the train into uni instead of driving, cos it means I have to walk a lot further. Gonna start swimming soon too. Nothing wrong with my glands!
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 22:19, closed)

take my advice
cut right down on bread, potatoes and fizzy drinks. you'll be amazed.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 22:46, closed)

Translation:

"My problems are real and of epic proportions - yet I manfully struggle through, though they would cripple a lesser human. Your problems, on the other hand, are trivial, and exist solely in your mind - you should be ashamed for thinking your paltry concerns are even vaguely comparable to mine."

Most people with this mindset just grow a floppy fringe, cut their forearms a little, and write bad poetry.

Ponder, if you will, the hypocrisy of the follwoing - posted to teh intarwebs, no less:

"...just because you are embroiled in your latest emotional crisis it doesn’t give you the right to broadcast it to all in sundry... I’ve had a galactically shit year that would push most people over the edge"


Arf.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 1:06, closed)

Agreed.
When telling other people to man up, never mention your own life problems. It's okay, it's a rookie mistake. The proper handling of the situation is to say nothing about yourself, but later ponder the magnitude of their problems in comparison to your own and feel smug about it. I would also like to refer you to Voltaire's Candide, one of the life lessons of which is that everyone is convinced that they have experienced suffering and unfairness that no other person could fathom. Apparently drama queens were around in the 18th century.

Jokes aside, I thought Jam's post was funny, and drama queens are practically begging to be punched in the throat by people with a sense of perspective/real problems.
(Exempt OH WOW, VICODIN, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 5:09, closed)

I didn't mean to come across as a moaner...
LOL That would be the supreme irony ;-) It's my first letter and I threw in the 'Galactically shit year' as an example to illustrate that we all have problems but most of us don't need to turn into an annoying needy lunatic, it's just plain rude. Maybe I should have just written 'Things aren't always skittles and beer' I shall try harder next time ;-)
( JamHamster My eyes, my beautiful eyes!, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 10:58, closed)

Mmmmmm
Skittlebrau!!!
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 15:25, closed)

Here...
Have a nice cup of tea and a sit down.

Kitten ?
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:06, closed)