Just a thought but....
Why are a lot of men pathological liars about nights out with the boys. I've never had this problem myself due to having fairly open relationships but I've noticed this in my friends boyfriends.


They say that they are going to be home at a certain time that night when they know damn well they wont be home anywhere near it.

They will never admit to how much they've drunk that evening. Always saying it was just a couple of pints when it cleary wasn't.

These two aspects of mens inability to tell you the truth I have never understood.
( girlinthehole, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 9:48, 9 replies)

It's probably something to do with
the attitude many (not all) women have to their partner's friends, and indeed to the very concept of their partner being able to go out and have a good time without them. Some men are like this with their women as well, but I think it's a particularly female trait.
Why anyone should live in the delusional world that their partner should only be able to have fun when with them is beyond me. If you can't trust someone, accept their need to be with others as well as you, in fact realise that no one person can supply every need for human interaction, then the relationship becomes possession.
Loving someone is setting them free, knowing that if they love you they can be trusted and should be. Possessive love isn't love, it's not pretty and it doesn't in the long term work. I need friends as much as I need a partner, and woe betide any woman who fails to accept that point.
Although lying about when you're coming back is silly, a woman should accept it if one night a week their man goes out, gets bladdered with the lads and comes back in a state stinking of kebabs and booze. Not pretty, for sure, but better that than staying in and feeling resentful and trapped.
If you love someone, it should be their happiness you value - not your possession over them.
Ladies (and men) take note !
( I_Was_Mordred, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 10:03, closed)

It's always 1 of 2 things...

1. We're shit scared of getting a bollocking and we don't think things through. We say that we'll be back nice and early...therefore we get happy smiles before we leave and know that we'll be pissed when we get home and won't be too fussed about the backlash. Would our wives / gf be happy if we said 'I'm off out on the lash love, expect me back at about 3ish honking of beer and cheap perfume'? I doubt it. So we try to keep 'em sweet.

Or 2. We genuinely believe it ourselves when we say it...aka the 'good intentions clause'. It's only when we're out and our mates say 'have another' and we're too weak to say no that we get the shit.

It's not our fault...we're pack animals etc etc
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 6 Dec 2007, 10:06, closed)

Still doesn't answer my question...
I've know guys with fairly easy going girlfriends do the same thing.

It's like some sort of programming in their DNA.
( girlinthehole, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 10:07, closed)

My boss has a phrase
which sums up the situation:

It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 10:10, closed)

K2K6
It may be easier in the short term but long term it becomes very annoying.
( girlinthehole, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 10:13, closed)

K2K6...^^

That line is gold...I'll be using that bugger.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 6 Dec 2007, 10:13, closed)

Another thought
When I say I'll be home at a certain time and then don't its because of one of three reasons, and I figure its the same for most guys: 1) Lost track of the time (this happens when copious ammounts of alchohol are imbibed) 2) No taxi available and had to wait for one/start walking 3) Mates convinced me to stay out later (often also because of copious alchohol consumption) but I usually call if this happens.

"Couple of pints" is code for 1) Pints were bought a couple at a time or 2) don't remember but it sounds better than several shots. I never have a couple of pints. I go for a couple, but know full well it will be more (its to do with waiting for mate to finish his you get another while you wait and leap frog each other) but I usually remember exactly what I drink and if queried, say the whole list.

So its not that we lie as such. Our memories just get a little hazy that's all.
(Teran Thinks Pogonophobia is funny, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 10:14, closed)

I agree with BGB
Why bother with the lies?

If you're a grown up (and in theory in order to drink alcohol you should at least have the chronological age of over 16 or 18) then as a fully paid up member of adult society you can do whatever you damn well want!

When I was with the ex I used to have Girls' Nights Out and I'd stumble back home smelling of wine (three whole glasses!), cheap perfume (my own) and fags (I'm not a smoker but some of my friends are). It would generally be the early hours and after flushing my knickers down the loo (I've done that a number of times absentmindedly) I would go and harass the then Mr Chickenlady - he'd invariably tell me to go away....

Anyway, my point is, in amongst the rambling (I'm supposed to be filling in my tax return..hence the rambling) that I always came clean about where I was going, who with and so on. If he didn't like it...TOUGH!
And when he went out I fully expected him to stagger in the same state. We trusted each other implicitly because that's what you do when you love someone.


I think a lot of men do it because they get a kick out of being nawty!


and don't we all!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 10:34, closed)

Hmm....
Seems a bit of a sweeping generalization to me. Bit like me asking "why do I always get involved with the wrong sort of women?". Anyhoo... the sentiments of Mordred are fairly near the mark in my humble opinion.

I also agree with the good intentions clause, if I say I'm going to be in at a specific time then I am, if for whatever reason I can't be it's because something beyond my control has occurred (ie, boss wants a meeting at 7:30pm as has happened a lot of late. Cunt).

Likewise, if someone is asking me "how much have you had?" then I'm not going to answer because in my experience the response is generally a prelude to "why/when/you shouldn't/etc".

From a guy's point of view, we'll do anything to avoid a fight at stupid o clock at night.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 6 Dec 2007, 10:37, closed)