Highlights of my CV:
"happy to work both as part of a team and on own initiative" - either put me in charge or sit me on my own in a corner where I don't have to put up with the braindead drongos (sp?) that I'll be working with.

(on my most recent job - crappy data entry temp) "My responsibilities were then extended to training others in the same process and taking on a more supervisory role" - telling newbies which buttons to press, and then sitting watching them to check that they didn't try and eat the keyboard or anything.

(previous job, till monkey in a garden centre) "I found this work enjoyable as it involved interaction with the public and colleagues" - huh, right.

Education - "Studied for 11 GCSE’s, predicted grades of 9 A’s and 2 A*’s
GCSE Fine Art (C); unable to sit other exams due to illness" - a fine mix of embellishment and glossing over here. Yes, I was predicted something along those lines (I think there was a B in there, but it made it look messy so I upgraded it), but it was in those stupid YELLIS tests which don't actually test what you know, but a general aptitude for that sort of thing, so that was the very highest I could have got had I worked for them. At all. Said illness was clinical depression, and in fact I didn't go to school at all for the two years of GCSE study. I stopped being honest about that when I realised that was why no-one would employ me. I didn't even get rejection letters, probably out of some HR tossers fear that they'd be sued if I topped myself.

"plays drums and percussion" - I haven't picked up a drumstick for a good 5 years or so, and I wasn't very good anyway. I think I only got into the local youth orchestra as they were short on percussionists.

"designs and contributes to a variety of websites" - well, I cobbled together something vaguely serviceable for my boyfriend's band. And I post on b3ta. Impressive.
( useful_idiot, Thu 6 Jul 2006, 20:12, Reply)