Bastard copper...
So, I'm out in the car. My cousin, who was about 10 at the time, was sat in the passenger seat as I was "babysitting" (for want of a better expression) that day.

Needless to say, as 10-year-olds tend to to, she's egging me on to drive faster and faster. We got to about 140mph along a stretch of dual carriageway before I had to ease off as traffic was building up ahead. Anyway, with the speed down to about 80mph, the blue flashing lights appeared in my mirror and I get pulled over.

The usual script gets read out, about how "dangerous" it is etc etc... "and how would you feel if your daughter there got hurt?" (To be fair, she does look like she could be.)

Automatically I said "she's not my daughter". Before I could finish my sentence with "she's my cousin", this little twat of a copper said "oh right, your girlfriend, you look like a paedo to me".

Needless to say, this did not sit well with me, and the red mist descended. By the time his colleage had got out of the car and held me back, Plod was on the floor, me having repeatedly lamped him in the head. He had a black eye, a split lip and a bloody nose.

Backup arrived, and I retrieved my phone from my pocket, stopped it recording and played the recording back to the uniforms who had arrived. They let me go as soon as they heard it.

Needless to say, Plod whined to the CPS and I got a summons for a. speeding, and b. assaulting a police officer. It gets to court. The recording gets played - at which point the CPS withdraw their case.

I get awarded costs, the copper gets sacked.
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 17:46, Ignore, closed)
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 24 Oct 2016, 13:00, 18 replies)

obviously, the response is the best bit
b3ta.com/questions/purefury/post2107021

#noncepunch
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 24 Oct 2016, 13:01, closed)

Someone posted some proof in a previous, now deleted thread that he is in fact an actual nonce who spent 3 years in Jail for grooming and shagging a 15 year old.

( Peej, Mon 24 Oct 2016, 14:07, closed)

but did he shag her in the car?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 24 Oct 2016, 14:17, closed)

what a gorious thread
really not sure how i missed that one.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Mon 24 Oct 2016, 15:29, closed)

They don't make 'em like that, anymore.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Oct 2016, 15:38, closed)

they dont.
pencil shavings, honda accords, rapey jokes...

I mean what happened to b3ta?
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Mon 24 Oct 2016, 17:21, closed)

All the [best/worst] contributors were bullied of the board by [whoever].

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Oct 2016, 7:40, closed)

All the best, most entertaining bullies left too, there was nothing left for them to do

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Oct 2016, 7:43, closed)

It's like a metaphor for capitalism or saink. Dunno, haven't really thought this through properly.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 27 Oct 2016, 12:56, closed)

Tis this guy
theukdatabase.com/2012/04/02/glenn-richards-wotton-under-edge/
( Peej, Tue 25 Oct 2016, 11:41, closed)

it's all a lot less lol when you learn someone is an actual paedo

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 25 Oct 2016, 12:11, closed)

Indeed

( Peej, Tue 25 Oct 2016, 13:35, closed)

Yes, this has really taken the shine off of things.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Oct 2016, 6:40, closed)

Are you sure?
Recorder Paul Grumbar said: “It must have been clear to you how you should comply with this order – you are an intelligent man."
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 25 Oct 2016, 14:13, closed)

it used to be great on here
:(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Oct 2016, 14:00, closed)

when?

( Peej, Tue 25 Oct 2016, 14:10, closed)

June 2000

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Oct 2016, 21:19, closed)