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This is a question Lurid Work Stories

"I know a railwayman of 40-odd years' service," says Juan Quar, "and he tells me a new gruesome yarn each time we meet. Last week's was of checking the time on the wristwatch of a severed arm he'd just collected after a track fatality."

Tell us the horrible stories you tease the new hires with, or that you've been told.
NB By definition, these are probably all made up. Roll with it

(, Thu 5 Sep 2013, 17:33)
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Customer left an eye-wateringly large poo in the toilet at a place I worked once.
Not on the floor, or the seat, or the wall, or in a cup... just in the toilet, where it was supposed to be.

The length and width were truly amazing though; and prompted my mate to proclaim "If that gets into the north sea, it'll be a danger to shipping!"
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 12:33, 3 replies)
I like this *clicked*

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 13:45, closed)
Your mate is Eddie Hitler
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:16, closed)
He can't be
That twunt is too busy pretending he can cook on fucking Masterchef.
Time was the only thing he would be doing in a kitchen is hitting Rik Mayall around the head with a frying pan
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:04, closed)

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