Suicidal Tendancies
Watching a BBC news article about the 'training' of platform staff to prevent people jumping in front of trains, it ended with a piece to camera with the Station Manager saying that"'after talking to her for an hour, she left 'under her own steam'" which for some weird reason made me laugh as I thought that was not the point! There is nobody on the planet who shares my sense of humour apart from my dad... who after being phoned to discuss this simply said "I bet she was chuffed to bits"
(the_icks has the sweet essence of giraffe, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 18:43, 10 replies)

At least they saved her from going off the rails.
_{Yes, yes I did...}
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 6 Dec 2012, 22:05, closed)

She was probably going to jump....
but lost her train of thought with all the talking.



...or maybe she no longer felt run down.




....sorry. Best I go away.
(dchurch bah, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 22:20, closed)

Sounds like she was rail-roaded
in her attempts to shuffle off this mortal coil.....
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 6 Dec 2012, 23:15, closed)

I used to regularly commute to London
which was a journey occasionally delayed by some thoughtless git who chose to An Hero via public transport rather than something a bit less intrusive. If anyone's in that position, may I suggest autoerotic asphyxiation (aka the stranglewank) or just inhaling a monkeyload of nitrous, as it's likely to be less shit than being pulverised by several hundred tons of train and corpulent commuters.

That aside, during my initial soujourns down the smoke where this obstructed my work I was initially somewhat restrained in my reportage - this being a family friendly org with the type of bimbling, child-rearing boredom-magnets that are thoroughly offended by the merest hint of gallows humour.

After two platform-jumpers in the same week thoroughly fucked with my chi, I returned to the office with the declaration "it was delayed due to the wrong type of mince on the line".
(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_ =o.o=, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 2:27, closed)

with all that talking
It gave a her a chance to let off some steam
fuck kill me now
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 16:06, closed)

At least if she had jumped she would have been chuffed to bits.
(Benzyl, Tue 11 Dec 2012, 16:43, closed)