There have been some good funny storries so far. I was worried that this week would delve into "Funniest Home Video" mode or "I guess you had to be there."
My story is probably the latter.

In another life I worked as a cook (or cookie as we're often called). There is a large difference between a cook and a chef. Generally a cook knows how to clean a kitchen. & I don't mean doing a Foodsafe or HACCP course, I mean actually scrubbing shit to make sure it's clean. A chef knows how to use a lot of pots and pans & then tell somebody else to clean it up. And then after 2nd year they know how to delegate and make dish-pigs (dish-washers) work hard. Cookies usually end up helping the dish-pig.

In 1 of my cooking jobs I worked with a gentleman from the Northern end of Britain. He was a short, rotund fellow who's voice was loud and temper even louder. I heard him at least on 1 occasion call a fellow Northern English compatriot a "skoowzer cant". Let's call him Eric.
I also worked in this team with a bloke called Lawrence (no name changes here to protect him) who was the worst type of chef. Lawrie (as he hated to be called) was a cant of the highest order. He was the bloke that had to lock up at night but would always sit there and watch as I helped our resident dish-pig finish doing all the dishes. Just so we could all go home at the end of a night. The 1st time I suggested "many hands make light work" Lawrie told me that "I'm a chef."

Eric's favourite string of swearys was "Ya farkin cant!".
Now being a naturalised Aussie raised by a Kentish mummy my immediate response each & every single time was to say to Eric quietly and calmly -
"Oh, but I think I can."
Which of course would make a couple of people giggle and make Eric go almost apoplectic. Until a few more of us would join in and then it was on for young & old.
Then the shift would often deteriorate into jokes about what each member of the kitchen could or farkin' cant do.
Except Lawrie who just never seemed to get the joke. Ever.

The funny bit to this tale?
The day that Lawrie spat chips and had a go at me about how I'd left some fried nibblies in the warmer too long. Yeah they were a bit brown but I'm pretty sure the pissed-up VIPs wouldn't notice.
Anyhoo, Lawrie calls me a fucking cunt. Eric shouts out from the other end of the kitchen.
"Ooouu, but he faarkin can!"
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 8 Dec 2012, 8:20, 11 replies)

Probably had to be there...
Although northern people are funny because they speak funny.
(badgermonkey007, Sat 8 Dec 2012, 8:38, closed)

Especially in Australia.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 8 Dec 2012, 8:51, closed)

Where they're considered 'quite posh'.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 8 Dec 2012, 10:25, closed)

Yeah.
At least they're not descendants of Northern English convicts. Right?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 8 Dec 2012, 11:13, closed)

Couldn't have been that northern.
In the north we actually say "fucking" and "cunt" rather than "facking" and "cant".
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 8 Dec 2012, 11:59, closed)

Or
"fooking" and "coont" , to be reet northern.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sat 8 Dec 2012, 14:35, closed)

That's what I said: "fucking" and "cunt".

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 8 Dec 2012, 21:25, closed)

Exactly.
"Ferkin" & "kent".
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 8 Dec 2012, 22:06, closed)

Astoundingly I too say "fucking" and "cunt". So altho we may type words exactly the same
how we sound when we speak may have a marked difference.
Wouldn't you agree?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 8 Dec 2012, 20:37, closed)

tl;dr

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 8 Dec 2012, 14:58, closed)

Man makes fun of person from somewhere elses accent.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 8 Dec 2012, 20:38, closed)