I'm Tony Montana! You fuck with me, you fuckin' with the best!
Is there anything more boring than drug stories, every young Herbert thinking it’s some sort of magical new world that only they’ve discovered and they must tell the rest of mankind about it.

OK, here’s my story.

I was a small time but steady user of drugs throughout my youth. During this time a mate of mine knew a man who needed to get his hands on 50 grams of speed quickly. I new a man who was selling, so I thought I could step in as middle man and skim a few quid profit.

I popped into the dealers house to pick up the 50g, already wrapped in deals. It was a weekday morning because I had taken a half day off work to attend court for non-payment of poll tax. My first ever court appearance.

There were quite a few people ‘up’ that day, and there was a little queue to get in to the court. I joined it, and soon more people joined behind me. On getting through the door I could see the cause of the hold up. There were a couple of coppers searching people.

Just two people in front of me…

“I didn’t know they searched everybody” I idly thought to myself “I suppose they have to….nutters and stuff”

One person to go

“They’re being really thorough, making them empty their jeans pockets and everything” rambled my brain…

Nearly finished the last person before me.

“OHJESUSFUCKINGCHRISTNONONONONONONONONFUUUUUUUCK”

The bag of wraps in my coat pocket suddenly felt as big as a house brick “fuck fuck fuck you dumb fuck….Oh I’m going to be a laughing stock….FUCK FUCK”

It was my turn to be searched, I had the time it takes to make the two steps to the beckoning policeman to come up with a plan. As I reached him I took off my coat, held it in one hand then assumed the ‘frisk me’ pose and waited, heart pounding. After the frisk he asked me to turn out my coat pockets, and this is where my plan became extra cunning. I turned out all the pockets APART from the one with the drugs in it.

Satisfied with my performance I was waved through to the counter where I was supposed to enter my name and address into a book, but discovered I’d lost the ability to write anything more than a shaky line.

Still, I made about 20 quid.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 16 Sep 2010, 15:01, 3 replies)

you've got some cajones

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 15:03, closed)

but only a little friend

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 16 Sep 2010, 15:05, closed)

^What she said^

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 15:11, closed)

yeah they even search you when you turn up for jury duty,
can't be too careful.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 15:15, closed)

.
Good story.
( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:34, closed)