Shroom with a view
Many years ago my colleagues and I stayed in a Cornish cottage over Christmas. One morning we quaffed mushie tea and set the board up to play Risk. I wandered to the bog but my attention was caught by a picture in one of the bedrooms as I passed. It was a painting of a spaniel in a bosky glade. But it was odd. I looked closer. It was 3D, "Oho! A hologram", I thought. It wasn't. But it was very 3D. By moving from side to side in front of it, I could actually look behind the spaniel. I decided it was an alcove in the wall, painted with a woodland scene, with a china spaniel statuette sitting in it. And with a clear glass frame over it all.

I went to the shitter and returned, with my interesting 3D spaniel alcove tale, to start the game of Risk. The living room was quiet. And dark. And empty. The board had been put away and there were empty wine bottles strewn around. Everyone was in bed.

Turns out I'd been looking at the spaniel for something like fourteen hours.
(judgetheobscure used to sweep in butchers' shops., Fri 17 Sep 2010, 19:21, 8 replies)

ha ha ha

( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 19:26, closed)

LOL, I had the same thing with Acid.
Went to use the loo while tripping my face off,

A streetlight behind a tree outside was casting 'interesting' shadows on the wall that looked like a word.

Everytime I got halfway through reading the word, it changed.

Spent quite a long time trying to read the word.

Warm legs? Oh, I've pissed myself. :(
(Bad Monkey hasn't had an abusive gaz since, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 19:30, closed)

i got trapped in the toilette
Every time I turned to leave the bog was back infront of me. I had to be rescued by a mate.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 17 Sep 2010, 20:02, closed)

I love this story and the ones in replies
nice title too

A+. Would read again
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 20:09, closed)

*blush blush*
This is the first time I've ever posted on b3ta. As the Elephant Man says, "you've all been sooo kind".

What happened to the Elephant Man? He made that one corker of a movie, then nothing.
(judgetheobscure used to sweep in butchers' shops., Fri 17 Sep 2010, 20:23, closed)

*clicks*
Love this.
(Helmut McBucket invites you to pull his finger on, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 23:46, closed)

Very funny!
Have a click!
(Billy The Fish wants to gargle with Lucy Pinder's bath water, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 19:33, closed)

Hahaha!
I wasn't expecting that! Brilliant!
(MrNorm, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 10:28, closed)