Everyone thought I was Stanley Kubrick
It just kept happening everywhere I went at first I tried to be polite about it and quietly tell them otherwise but they just wouldn't have it, I HAD to be Mr. Kubrick. All sorts would flock to see me so eventually I just decided I'd go along with it despite looking nothing like the man (so I'm told), never having seen his films AND living in and having a north London accent with a naselly voice.

I felt awfully dishonest but people just thought I was being a reclusive genius if I tried to correct them, and knowingly thought I was just being modest. So I tried to make them feel better, offer them parts in movies here and there talk to them about 'my' films I supposedly made and they'd lavish me with free meals and booze that they just wouldn't let me refuse. Even the cream of the American press were quite convinced.

And then to top it all off I was accused of being a conman and using Mr Kubrick's name fraudulently they even made a bloody movie about it, I tried to tell people I wasn't him and they'd say I was lying about impersonating him and now they've told everyone I died. I'm well and truly sick of this, if Mr. Kubrick hadn't expired already I'd sue for damages and defamation. Honestly you try to be nice to people, you try to avoid them having to face embarrasment and this is what happens.

Sincerely Mr. Conway NOT Kubrick
(StumpsForArms&NoEyebrows, Sat 2 Jun 2007, 8:11, Reply)